Denim Days

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Hey guys!

I've been commissioned by To The Bone by Netflix to write a sample entry for their 'Mind Over Matter' contest. The movie is about a girl with anorexia who goes through a journey of self-discovery while trying to overcome her negative inner voice. For this contest, all you guys have to do is write about how you overcame a moment where you've had negative internal thoughts, and sadly, we've all had them. Hopefully this sample entry gives you some kind of inspiration to enter this amazing contest about your own internal struggles, because it starts and ends with you.

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Denim Days by Tahlie Purvis

I used to hate shopping for jeans.

The task was a chore. When one pair died and it was time for another, I dreaded going to the mall where I would trail through stores until my feet ached.

These trips started out optimistic but it took one go in the fitting rooms for my mood to drop. It was a nightmare because every store had different sizes and styles which made it impossible to walk in, grab them and walk out. However, one thing remained a constant.

None would fit.

Even if there was a pair out there, lost in the sea of stores, it didn't matter. Once a pair of jeans stopped moving somewhere mid-thigh, my heart would sink, a cold feeling would come over me and I'd stop. It would frustrate me so much I would almost cry.

This is embarrassing.

They should fit.

I turned from side to side, the jeans still not fastening at the front.

You should buy these so it looks like they fit.

I was close to doing it. To save myself from horrific judgement, I was prepared to buy clothing that didn't fit me.

If you lose weight you'll fit into them.

I was ready to do it. I didn't want to say, 'sorry, none of these' and be unable to look the worker in the eyes because they knew why I wasn't buying them.

They would fit everyone else.

I doubt they have sizes bigger than this.

I didn't want to go out there and explain why everyone would have to go to another store so I could find jeans that fit. I was tempted to text my mom from the fitting room to tell her to get rid of everyone. I tried one last futile attempt to pull the jeans up my hips, but nothing happened.

You know they aren't going to fit.

Just stop.

You should go home.

I felt this horrible tight feeling in my chest. And that's when I was probably close to tears - over something so little and insignificant.

There is nowhere here that have jeans that fit you.

'Shut up,' I'd whispered to myself as I stood in the fitting room. I took off the jeans off. 'Just please, shut up.'

Taking deep breaths to stop myself from walking out with watery eyes, I gave all the jeans back to the worker without looking. I just smiled when people asked me about the jeans, and I told the voice in my head to stop as I went to another store.

Walking into another fitting room, I held up the jeans and tried them on. The tight feeling returned to my chest.

They're not going to fit.

'Yes they are,' I said. 'And if they don't, it doesn't matter.'

Because it didn't. They were just a pair of jeans. I shouldn't cry over them. I pulled the jeans up my legs and ignored everything else. I blinked in surprise when the button fastened.

They fit.

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Thank you so much for reading and I hope you guys chose to enter the contest! More info is over on the ChickLit profile. Even if your country isn't eligible to win the prize, you can still use this contest as an awesome prompt to share and write something anyway!

- Tahlie x

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