Nothing like us

The note.

Chapter 1.

Justin's Point Of View

The hurt may feel like a spider web, intricate, but also strong, but I know in time it will pass and the sun will regain its warmth and give you back the joy to your heart that this loss will take with it. It might be hard to cry, to grieve, to love. Now we'll never know what could've been, never find out what we could've had longer into our marriage. But I do know what I would've wanted.

I've always pictured at least three babies with you. 2 boys, one girl. Three beautiful babies with your beautiful snd breathtaking hazel brown eyes and gorgeous full toothed smile. The boys would grow to be overprotective, like yourself, but also kind hearted and handsome young men. Their names would be Jeremy after your dad and Noah after my dad; your father in law. They'd both meet their women and have a family. Our daughter would have long blonde hair just like me and she would look up to us and trust in God. Her name would be Klara Patricia after our moms. She would meet the one for her, fall in love and eventually get married. We'd be bomb grandparents.

I close my eyes in hurt and let my fingers lightly touch the paper that's laying on the desk right in front of me. My thoughts wander everywhere. I decide to make myself some coffee before reading on where I left off. As I walk down the stairs and through the living room, I look at the photo shelf Ashley decorated with photos of us from our wedding day, which was exactly a year ago today. In all the photos I'm smiling. I wish we knew then.

But that's what it was like being married to her. We smiled and shared laughs all the time, including when we we're arguing. She thought that giving each other a smile while arguing would make the other person feel reassured that they still loved them.

I watch the coffee run down and notice how fast it actually drips. I've never thought about it till now but it reminds me of life. It goes by way to fast. I wish it would slow down and let people live to their fullest. Not even getting to turn 22 is so unfair. Ashley had so much more to do with her life, just wish she got the chance.

Preferring my coffee black, I pour it directly in to my mug and take a quick small sip seeing as it's extremely warm.

I'm back in my bedroom, about to continue reading the note from my angel when my phone starts ringing. I read the name out loud and hesitantly answer it.

"Sup."

"Hey man, how are you?" The person speaks.

I stay silent for a while before shrugging, "Fine." I lie. I'm not fine.

"Hope so. You know, if you want me to I can come over and keep you entertained if you'd like. Or just talk. Whatever you want." He offers.

"I'm fine." I emphasize the second word. "I said I was fine okay? Deal with it."

The line goes silent for what feels like a minute before Scooter decides to speak up, "I hear you. Well, I just thought I'd let you know that this couple called earlier. They wanted to know if we could trow together a mini show with only a few songs."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion, "I don't know. It's been so long and I'm not sure.." I stop myself. "W-What's the occasion?"

"A wedding. Their wedding. It's in two weeks from tomorrow."

I gulp and sigh in slight annoyance and sorrow. I hate letting people down but I can't perform at a wedding, man I can't even attend a wedding. Nor do I know if I can get myself to perform since it's been months since I last did that. I haven't performed since she passed. It just doesn't feel the same anymore.

"So, what's it gonna be?" Scooters' voice rings.

"Can I get the night to think about it?"

"Sure son, think it through till tomorrow and then give me a call to let me know." And with that we hang up.

I grasp the paper in front of me again and continue on reading the note I've been hesitant to read all day.

I'm going to miss waking up to you and go to bed with you. I'm going to miss opening my eyes every morning just to see your smile and be in your embrace. I'll miss the sweetness of your lips against mine and the feeling of our bodies perfectly syncing together as we share all our emotions trough making love. I'm going to miss your natural scent and sexy morning hair.

What am I going to miss the most you may wonder. Well, from the one and a half year I got to know you and be with you, I've learned more than I have my whole life. So what I'm going to miss the most about you is the joy you have for life and people. You love life so much. You love making people happy and you love performing so please don't let my death take that away from you. Keep on performing, keep bringing your fans and family joy and happiness, love and faith and so much more which you have to give to the world. I'll be with you every second and watching you from a beautiful place called heaven. Happy anniversary baby and please don't get lost in this big world.

I'll always love you but I want you to know that it's okay to fall in love again. It's okay to find that special someone again whom you'll eventually wanna spend the rest of your life with again. I want that for you so please don't be scared to fall.

~Yours and only,
Ashley.

I sniff and quickly wipe away the tears that have fallen down my swollen cheeks. "I miss you baby, so much. I'll try my best to not let you down." The words leave my mouth and I pick up my phone. I unlock it and quickly press on the last number that called me.

"Justin." His voice speaks.

"Hey Scooter." I sniff.

"Are you crying?"

"No, thanks though." I thank him. I've been a jerk ever since Ashley died, I think it's time I start getting my life back on track with performing at least. "I wanna do it."

"You want to sing at the wedding?" He makes sure he's hearing correctly.

"Yes, I really, really do."

•••

And that was the first chapter. I hope you like this new book. I didn't want to make just another Justin Bieber fanfic so I've been trying to figure out all day how I possibly could make it different and honest. And sadly, tonight, a friend of the family passed. He was only 55 years old, he died of cancer. And I got so emotional because his wife died 3 weeks ago of the same reasons so now their two daughters have no parents and it just hit me really hard that we have to APPRECIATE life so that's how I came up with this..

I pictured Ashley Benson to be his wife and Justin as Justin of course.

Really hope you like it and if you did, feel free to leave a comment and vote.

I love you guys so much