He's slipping away (Phan)

Chapter 5

-Phil’s Point of View-

“I will always love you, Dan Howell.”

And it was true. I always have loved him, and love doesn’t die. He looked down, tracing the back of my hand with his thumb.  His face was easy to read. A small smile played on his lips. Dan squeezed my hand once more before flopping backwards on the bed, arms outstretched. It was even the same bedspread he has when we were living together. I chucked. I even had mine. He let out a small sigh. I crossed my legs, sat next to him.

“Fuck.” He cursed. “I thought you would never come back to me.” I hung my head slightly.

“I saw a girl, her name was Soph… she had a Danisnotonfire and Amazingphil shirt on… even after all these years.”  I said, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah. I saw an old fan yesterday, also. Did she have short blonde hair?”

“Yup.”

“That was her,”

There was a gap of silence, but it was a comfortable silence. That was one thing about us. We didn’t need to babble to enjoy eachother’s company.  I laid down next to him, looking up at the glow in the dark star stickers stuck onto the ceiling in random. I smiled up at them. The room had gotten dark, so the stars glowed brightly. He pointed up.

“Look there. I tried to make the Big Dipper.  If you were to stare right through the ceiling, the real thing is straight up.” He paused. “Took me an hour to get it right.” I chuckled, and turned my head to look at his eyes. They were fixated on the stars still. His hand was tucked under his head, elbow out. The other was resting next to his side, palm facing towards the sticker constellation. An invitation? I took the opportunity and rested my hand in his. Our palms fit together perfectly.  

He got up, and tried to look at the sky through the window. Waving a hand at me, he signaled me to follow him. Was he crazy? It’s freezing outside! I shook my head and grabbed my jacket and scarf. Then I got his. He opened the window and crawled out onto the roof. With a great deal of struggling, I squished myself through the window and shuffled towards him. He was already stretched out, facing the stars. Surprisingly, there were quite a few, shining clear and lucid. He patted the place beside him, smiling slightly. I nodded and laid down. I looked over. He was shivering slightly.

“Take this, stupid, or you’ll get hypothermia and die. I don’t want you to die.” I threw the jacket over.

“Oh come on, its not even cold out.” He whined.

“You’re shivering.”

“Then come closer.”

I wiggled closer to him, and he put on the jacket. I felt his head rest on my shoulder, and our legs intertwined. His chest rose and fell evenly, and he breathed lightly. 

“This is much better “ he said. Few cars sped the street, and most of the lights in the window were off. London had closed one eye. I checked the time. 12:02 my eyelids were heavy, and a cool breeze blew on us.

“And there…” he pointed again. “Is the North Star.” I looked up. “I like to think that the stars are people who love you but can’t be with you anymore. See?”  He gestured to another star. “That’s dad.” He pursed his lips.

“Oh. Dan, i'm sorry…” I squeezed his hand. A tear trickled down his cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb.

“You used to be up there.” He whispered.

“I.. did?”

He nodded. “ I wasn’t sure, actually. I wanted to think it was you, I hoped it was you. That way, you would still love me.  You were that one.” He lifted his arm, pointing. “But since you’re here with me now, I guess you’re here.” He dropped his hand over his heart. Then he put it on mine. I rested my hand on top of his.

“Phil? “

“Hmm?”

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go inside. I’m freezing my tits off.”

I smiled in the darkness as we got up, hand in hand. A neon clock inside the room told me that we had been out there for  30 minutes, Though it seemed like an eternity. The lights were off, but we were fine, our eyes had adjusted to the dark. A pale strip of moonlight spilled out of the window and bathed the room with white light. A small black couch sat across from a medium sized t.v, hooked up to an Xbox. A stack of DVDs and video games were in the corner. He started rummaging through the stack of Movies. I plopped myself down on the couch.

“Spirited Away?”

“Spirited Away.”

He took it out of the case and slid it into the player. He sat down next to me, wrapping a blanket around us and we wriggled closer. I sat between his legs, his arms wrapped around my waist, jaw against my neck. His cool breath tickled my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. I fell asleep in his arms.

(A/N) awwhhh

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