He's slipping away (Phan)

Chapter 3

-Phil's point of view-

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 I rushed home, my hand in my pocket, idly running my fingers over the worn edges of the note. I opened the door with shaking hands, perhaps from anticipation. Carelessly, I threw my coat onto the banister and vanished into the mini library. A certain uncertainty lingered above the paper as I carefully unfolded it. My heartbeat quickened as I read it.

 Dear Phil,

  guess I should start off by ...

 I held my breath until the last part.

 I love you Phil

 -Dan

 His name was smudged by a droplet of water.

 There was noting I wanted more then to sink into the floor and disappear at that moment. I had to steady myself and sit down in my big leather chair. Questions were racing through my head a mile a minute. He had looked back. Missed me even. I hadn't even stopped to think about him. No. That’s a lie. I missed him terribly with an ache in my heart that I ignored for so many years. I /had/ thought about Dan. And I loved him. I suppressed those feelings, so well. I have denied myself ever since I recognized the feeling that I needed him in my life, I had denied love.

 I hated myself at that moment, I felt broken. The only thing that could save me was to see his face, and gaze into his chocolate eyes. I walked to the kitchen hoping that getting something to eat would help my headache. I knew that Dan was in London, and he was at a University. Probably University of London. I checked the time. 10:47. I was tired, but there was a ton of adrenalin in me. I threw back on my coat and tucked the note in my pocket along with my wallet, keys, and phone. It had dipped a few degrees since I last stepped outside, and I really wished I had my scarf. I walked quickly in the direction of the university.

 Across the street, and dark figure washed in the pale streetlight trudged down the pavement. Was it him? Probably not, but I was so desperate to find him that I would think any one is. The man was tall, and as he walked closer, I could see a brunette tint to his hair. His head hung low and he was slumped forward. I quickened my pace. The boy looked up, indifference on his face. It was him. My heart thudded against my chest as soaked in his features for the first time in what felt like forever. His eyes opened wide, locking with mine. He was frozen as I ran across the empty street without looking back.

 "Dan!" our bodies collided as I crashed into him, engulfing him in a hug. He smelt slightly of booze, but I held him tight to me, his ear pressed against mine.

 Dan choked out sob and held me tighter. He was speechless. His long fingers pressed into my back. Guilt burn in my chest. I pulled away. His eyes were swollen from crying and his hair was ruffled, and he looked at me sheepishly. I looked away, tears stinging the edges of my eyes. "I'm so sorry Dan..." I was silently cut off as Dan reached inside his coat and pulled out my scarf. He smiled and handed it to me. It was still warm as I hung onto it.

 "Come on Phil" he slipped his hand into mine and lead me into the dorm house, sniffing as he jammed his key into the keyhole and I followed him in. The room was plain but messy, and mostly dark. Typical Dan. He was about to start talking but I interrupted him

 My heart thumped against my ribs. "I have this" I pulled out the note.

 "What? How... I thought I had that..." He stuffed his hand into pocket. "Oh..."

 I smiled.

 "Yeah it was kind of a coincidence that I found it on the street." He took it out of my hand and opened it. I felt the tension as he skimmed over it, probably trying to figure out what I was thinking when I read it. I crossed the room and sat down on the bed.

 "I didn't forget you Phil, how could I have when you gave me so much to remember?" he turned slowly and walked to me, sitting down on the bed. "So much..." he trailed off and stared into my eyes. There was happiness in his eyes somewhere deep down, clinging onto the memories. I was grateful for that.