I'm Coming Home

My truth

*The interviewer will be in italics, so will the text message*

As I'm being driven to this interview I'm doing for the BBC on my return to Take That I can't help but fill with nerves. Knowing some awkward questions may come my way I'm almost prepared to answer anything, especially about me and Gary. That record needs to be set straight. Going back was harder than leaving, I needed to be sure it was the right thing and that I'd be somewhat accepted. We needed to accept each other again, they've had 4 years to build everything back up I've got a matter of days, no pressure

Hello, thanks for agreeing to the interview Robbie

"No problem mate honestly, gets me out of the house doesn't it" I crack a joke instantly trying to ease away any tension that was in the room, I'm never confident with interviews they scare me. I'm an over sharing person, which works in my favour for interviews I guess. Getting his notes out and the cameras start rolling the interview gets underway and I instantly fill with nerves again

Going back to the band, whose idea was it? Did you call them or they you?

Shit this guys doesn't mess around does he straight in at the deep end, trying to form an answer in my head to reply I smile slightly at the memory of mark calling me to arrange a secret band meeting in New York "they approached me, if I remember correctly it was little markie who called me to ask if I wanted to meet up in New York"

The whole band?

"Yes, the whole band. It was daunting truth be told you know being away for 15+ years doesn't do you any favours when it comes to meeting them again. I told him I needed time to think about it, i wasn't in a good mindset as it was still fairly fresh out of rehab again but in the end I agreed to it, thankfully" the words just kept flowing from my mouth, like I said over sharer. Emotional isn't even the word. Coming back to this band is everything to me, I've had success I've had all the albums and singles that I could ever dream of but the one thing I never had with me throughout the craziness was my brothers.

Being in the same room again, was there any tension any unwanted upset left over from years ago

I don't know how to answer that, on my part I certainly felt tension but that's me. But I need to give him an answer it's an interview after all " if I'm being honest...no. There wasn't any tension, upset maybe but certainly no tension. Them things that I've said in the past and everything that's happened won't just go away over night, we're working through it. Especially me and Gary" even saying his name gives me tingles, makes me smile uncontrollably. I'm pretty sure he seen me smile when I said 'Gary'

Are you and Gary okay now? Everything sorted?

Smiling broadly and nodding in agreement I exhale deeply like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders "yeah" I dryly laughed "Me and the captain...we're good" I shift in my seat crossing my legs resting my elbow on the side, making my chin rest in my palm as I thought about Gary "it was, complicated to begin with let's say that. But you know even when I was saying the most horrible things about him and being tremendously rude along with my ego and big headed mindset I loved him, all along I've loved him. That's what hurts the most if you can understand that, even when you're hurting from it you realise you hurt so much because you love them so much and that was the case with me and Gary, we love each other" I said with the most truth I've gave yet "in a gay way" I quickly joke and I heard the guy catch his breathe in his throat, god it's good to be back! "I'm only messing we're not gay...well, he's not. Not that I'm aware off" I cheekily remark with my famous grin and laughter. No one ever takes me seriously when I say I'm gay, I'm not lying. It seems to be the forever on going joke with me, is he gay? Is he straight? I'm telling you now, I'm gay. Do the press believe me? Do they fuck

Do you regret leaving in 95? Do you wish you stayed and went with them to the height they reached?

"I don't know if i could ever regret it, leaving was the best and worst thing I've ever done. I became famous within my own right, I was able to showcase my own talent and not be known as 'oh that's the kid from that boyband' I didn't want that, not then. I was 16..." laughing nostalgically at the memory of being in the band at that age "I was tremendously nieve, cocky, full of it, always had an answer looked like I needed a slap but it gets you places, it certainly got me where I wanted to be" he was scribbling down notes, this interview was for everyone to see me, Robbie Williams 5th member of Take That. Not just, Robbie Williams the popstar.

Answering the second part was harder. Do I wish I stayed? In all honesty no, it would've been worse if I did. Not only for me, but for everyone around and involved with me. "You know what, I'm glad I never stayed. If I did I'd be dead. I wouldn't be hear talking to you right now, I was getting absolutely blind drunk every single night, taking whatever drugs I could get my hands on. I didn't care for the consequences, I only cared about the next bottle or the next line or the next girl. Looking back, it was the best for everyone that I left I had the potential to destroy 5 life's but I never I just attempted to destroy one" looking at me as if he understood as I pour my emotion and truth out he nodded along and somewhat smiled at my honesty

This new album is called 'progress'. What does that mean to you and the others? Does it give a positive feeling

Taking a minute before I answer and the 4 other lads flashing across my mind I find the right words "I think for me, it's about us moving on. Getting passed what happened all those years ago, there was wrong doings by ALOT of people, 'progress' is about devolving and evolving into better humans, better men. We want to give our fans a new sound, we're back as a 5 and we want them to listen to the album and think 'god it's like they've never been away' that's what it's about for us." I feel myself getting teary just speaking about 'progress', it's been 20 years in the making, 15 years of waiting and 5 years of deliberation and we couldn't be prouder of what we've achieved

Finally, what does Take That mean to you? What does it mean to be back

Ah. The question of all questions, my favourite question and I'll forever give the same answer

"Take That is home. First and foremost I'm a member of Take That I was too stupid to admit that back then I wanted to be me, whoever me was. When I looked at them all for the first time after so many years I'm not ashamed to say I cried, I was bloody petrified. Gary engulfed me in this massive hug, bone crushing hug we both so deeply needed and he whispered in my ear 'welcome home lad' and that then told me I done the right thing, so to answer your question, to be back means I'm coming home"

That's exactly what I've done, I've come home.

10 minutes later

Leaving the interview I let out this massive sigh as I know I get to go home now and just relax, feeling my phone vibrate in my jeans I see I have a text

Hope the interview went well rob, Don't say anything that could ruin us Gx

Yeah, I'm home. Finally I'm where I want to be
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Hello my little thatters and friendlies, this is a new book. Exciting, I know. As you may of gathered it's about rob going back to the band, it'll take us up to the tour. Of course barlliams will be making an appearance but for now I hope you like this first chapter and I hope I structured it well enough 😂 let me know what you all think, DCx