Where do Broken Hearts go? (A Haylor Fan Fiction)

Chapter 16: She's not Afraid

She's not afraid of scary movies
She likes the way we kissed in the dark
But she's so afraid of falling in love

It's been a week since Harry and Niall were both at our house and they have continued to overpower each other in impressing me even at school. I constantly talks to Niall thru text while Harry already made his routine to talk to me on phone in the middle of the night while we both sit in the windows of our bedroom. As time passes by my feelings for him grew even deeper. I knew I shouldn't let Niall pursue me. I didn't want to lead him on or give him false hope but I couldn't find the courage to turn him down. But I am doing it today. It's not fair for him and it's also not fair for Harry. I like him and he should know that but I am afraid that things will change if I agreed to be together with him, I am scared that if we will be together, I will fall head over heels in love with him and what if he changed his mind? He can have a change of heart towards me, he is very much good looking, he is smart and girls throw their selves at him while I am just me, a geek, a nerd which is funny cause I was fine with that, never once that I have questioned or even think about changing the way people looked at me, until now. Nevertheless, afraid or not I am going to have to speak with Niall. I don't like hurting him. It's not good.

Niall and I were set to meet up at the park for our tutoring session, although he is already getting good grades, he still wanted me to tutor him which I think I know the reason why.

I parked my car at the available space at the lot. Niall's Camry is on the other side of the parking lot, seeing his car made my heart race. Honestly, I am not sure what to tell him, though, I have been practicing my speech all night but it seems like I have forgotten everything I have memorized which is strange cause I've been known with sharp memory. Maybe, it's the nerves that are getting into me.

Using the rearview mirror I glanced at myself. I looked fine with my hair in a nice ponytail, I have my glasses on so I could have a barrier if ever things will get a little emotional and intense. My black cardigan is over my plain white shirt, I was also wearing the skinny jeans I started to love and black ballet shoes.

After taking a deep breath, I climbed off of my Prius and walked over to the stone chairs and tables inside the park just beside the pond. My eyes scanned the place and I immediately found Niall sitting on our usual seat, wearing a gray hoodie that was zipped up to his neck, he was also wearing denim pants and black Vans on his feet.

His lips automatically formed into a smile as soon as he sees me walking in his direction.

I took a deep breath before I reached the table.

"Hey," I greeted him weakly. My heart is beating so fast. I am nervous.

"Hey, you look great, as always," he praised me with his usual happy aura.

My hands are shaking as I occupied the chair opposite his. This is hard but I have to do it. Niall has been nothing but nice to me. He could be my friend if he won't angry at me after I tell him what I gotta tell him.

"Niall," I called out. He looked up from the book he was reading. "There is something I have to tell you," I said biting my lower lip so he won't notice that I was shaking.

"What is it?" He asked curiosity is obvious on his face.

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. I gotta do this, I said to myself, "Having you for the past weeks has been amazing, and I'd really appreciate everything that you have given me," I started trying to find the right words. He was staring at me intently which makes it even harder for me to speak. "I don't know what you saw in me that made you interested, and it feels great to know that someone out there sees you in such a way that I never saw myself and you're an amazing guy, but I am afraid that I am not gonna be able to reciprocate the feelings you have for me," I stopped when I don't know what to say anymore.