Stuck in the Illusion Called Us [Siegfrid & Eleanour]

Kabanata 21

It took me several encouragements to convince Siegfrid to come to Lottie’s funeral. Matapos niyang mapanood ‘yong video na para sa kaniya ay doon lang siya pumayag na sumama sa akin. He was seething in anger that he almost broke the iPad’s screen.

“Siegfrid,” tawag ko. “Tara na sa loob?”

Kanina pa kami naririto sa parking lot pero ayaw pa niyang bumaba ng sasakyan. He was just on his seat, his head bowed down on the steering wheel.

“I could end up giving him a punch, Eleanour,” he uttered through gritted teeth, his fists tightening around the steering wheel, heightening my concern.

“Alam mong hindi magugustuhan ni Lottie kung gagawin mo ‘yon. You saw the video, Siegfrid. She still loves and cares for her father,” sabi ko.

Nagtaas siya ng tingin sa akin nang biglang hawakan ko ang braso niya. He blinked his eyes at me, tapos ay inalis ang kanang kamay sa manibela at saka ibinaba iyon sa akin. He tightly held my hand like seeking for reassurance.

“Stay with me,” pakiusap niya.

I nodded my head and gave him a warm and encouraging smile.

“Let’s go?” tanong ko na sa wakas ay tinanguhan niya.

Bitbit ko ‘yong iPad ni Lottie nang bumaba kami ng sasakyan. I had to give it to her father so he could watch the video himself and reflect on his deeds.

The house, rather mansion, was crowded with politicians and famous personalities when we got inside. Magarbo ang gayak ng burol at sumisigaw sa karangyaan.

Nginitian ko ‘yong guardian ni Lottie nang madaanan namin, namumugto at namumula ang mga mata. Batid kong siya lang din ang parating kasama ng bata, ‘yong tanging may pakialam, at masakit ito para sa kaniya.

Siegfrid’s grip on my hand tightened, prompting me to look back at him. Offering an encouraging smile, we both looked down at Lottie in her casket.

Radiant in her pink dress, she was undeniably beautiful.

Yet, painfully young.

So innocent.

The world had just lost an angel.

“I could have done better,” Siegfrid muttered. “Her father could have done more.”

I looked at him and squeezed his hand that was holding mine. Then, I stared at Lottie’s sleeping face again. Nagagalit din ako pero mas pinipili ko ang umunawa. Na baka may dahilan ang daddy niya at wala naman sigurong magulang na ginusto ito para sa anak nila.