Soaring Wings

Chapter 12

The black tom felt a pain in his chest, an almost knowing pain. He looked around the camp, his eyes narrow. Where we his friends? His eyes glided across this new cats to their clan, but he did not see the three cats that he had made this journey with. What trouble have they gotten into now? The large tom thought to himself before picking himself off the ground. He watched the kittypets, still not trusting them to be by themselves completely, but he had to go find his friends. 

"Vivianne!" The tom's deep voice almost surprised himself for a change. He was not used to how angry he got when his friends were not near. He depended on them so much, and they calmed him down in a way he did not understand. When Rosefall was by his side, he did not need to think of bloodshed as he did when she was not near. When Coconutsplash and Midsun were by his side, he did not have the intense need to destroy everything in his way. 

The ginger female turned to him, her eyes sparkling in the dark lighting. She trotted over to him, which made his heart ache. She couldn't get close to him. She would deserve someone a lot more stable then him, someone who didn't have a need to kill. She would never have worked out with him, no matter how much he could wish about it. "What is it, Smudgeleaf? What's wrong?" Her voice was so smooth. It only hurt him to hear it more. She deserved Midsun. He was more stable. 

The tom held his head up high, narrowing his deep green eyes. "I need to go find Rosefall. Watch after your kittypets, and I should be back shortly." His voice came out more as a hiss. He was slipping back to his old self, and he hated how much he loved the feeling. 

The ginger female just gave a small nod, her eyes full of worry. "Go find your friends. We will be okay here. Once you are back, then we can all get some sleep." She purred. Oh StarClan, why did she have to purr? What made her think that she had the right to do something so, so flirty! 

Before his blood could boil over anymore, he turned away. His claws were digging into the dirt, and he knew he was close to clawing someone. They had to be close, and he had to find them before he did something he would truly regret. He rushed off toward the forest, also needing to put as much distance between the kittypets and himself. He didn't know them, so his reaction was to hurt them. There was so much wrong with him, and he depended on Rosefall and his friends to bring him back to reality. 

"Rosefall!" He called out to the female. Where in the world could she have gone? He had not seen Ringer or even Cardinal. They must have gone off with their new friends. They couldn't have left him behind, could they have? He called out again, hoping that he had not been left behind with kittypets of all things! 

The black tom ran through the forest, trying to pick up any scent. He had hinted toward Cardinal and Coconutsplash's scent, but they did not smell like Rosefall. He needed her more than ever now. His vision blurred, everything slowly getting a red tint. He couldn't lose himself to his inner desires, he just couldn't. He had pushed them away so much, that he refused to associate with them anymore. 

As the black tom continued to run through the forest, he slammed into brown and tan colored fur. He shook his head, his claws unsheathed and ready to battle whatever opponent stood in front of him. 

Then he saw them, the soft green eyes that were filled with worry. Oh how they made him melt within a second. His claws sheathed again, and his limbs went weak. "R-rosefall!" It came out a plea, but the tom didn't mind. He had found her, and she was okay. His eyes turned to see Ringer by her side, and they narrowed inspecting the tom. Why did he get the pleasure of walking out here alone with her when it was clear that they all needed him more. 

The fluffy female crouched, getting her eyes even with the black tom's. "Smudgeleaf, what's wrong? Did something happen with the kittypets? Are Coconutsplash and Midsun okay?" She asked, her tone suddenly worried. He smiled faintly, just happy to know she was okay. The black furred tom had not even thought about his brother. He had not seen them. 

He smiled weakly, keeping his eyes on his fluffy furred companion. She was all that he needed to be kept sane. He needed her like he needed air, and he felt like in a sense, she knew that they all needed her. "I-i don't know. You weren't there, and I was freaking out. We need you to be there Rosefall. You are the reason they are all there, and you are the reason we are all here." He pleaded with her, his cold green eyes filling with tears. 

Rosefall looked away from the black furred tom to her lighter brown companion. It broke his heart to see her look away from him when he so clearly needed her, but he realized it had been a mistake to come looking for her. As she looked back at him, he tried to get up, but he felt like he did not have the strength anymore. "Come on, let's get you to the camp. Then we need to find Coconutsplash and Midsun." She let out a small purr and started to head back to the camp. 

The black furred tom willingly followed her. He hated that she did not say anything about how much he needed her, but he didn't want to push the matter. He already knew she was stressing about being a leader, and he had to figure out how to lessen that stress. There had to be a way.