for you. yoonseok

now

jimin was heartbroken, but he always supported hoseok. always.

jimin had also received the news he was accepted into an arts school in busan, his hometown. it was a perfect time for him to start over.

so he left and hoseok was freed. freed but sadly dying.

to his luck, yoongi helped him in every way possible despite not even knowing hoseok's state.

during those beautiful years, yoongi was perfectly happy.

so naturally, hoseok was joyous too.

they led a happy, healthy life.

until he fell...

sometimes yoongi wonders if he'd rather have jungkook tell him the entire truth earlier.

hoseok's been sick his entire life. and his best friend, his boyfriend never knew.

but now yoongi knows the whole story.

and he wishes with all of his heart that they could both forget it.

—

crying is something yoongi does a lot now. hoseok does too. sometimes they just cuddle together on their shared bed, bawling their eyes out because they adore each other too much. then yoongi falls asleep because he's exhausted from sobbing and hoseok stays awake, running his fingers through yoongi's dark hair as silent tears stream down his thinning cheeks.

yoongi is upset. still upset that hoseok didn't tell him sooner. but he couldn't let himself be angry with him. there wasn't enough time. he would have easily forgiven hoseok anyway...

there's nothing else to do. hoseok is born to die. he came into this world with an untreatable illness.

and everyone, especially yoongi, wonders why.

—

soon hoseok moves permanently into the hospital.

yoongi hates it. it's like a way of saying "it's almost time."

he really, really doesn't want "the time" to come.

hoseok has a nurse. he's nice. he's very young and like an energetic child; his name is taehyung.

yoongi is always there. he only leaves to buy hoseok and himself food so that they don't have to eat the hospital meals.

sometimes namjoon and seokjin visit. jin brings some of his home-cooked meals for them, which they enjoy of course.

jin cries everytime. then hoseok and yoongi start crying. then namjoon starts crying. then taehyung the nurse comes in and also starts crying. then everyone is crying because hoseok is honestly an angel who touched everyone's lives and lit up the world with only a simple smile.

hoseok is distraught. he despises that the one thing that means everything to him, the one thing that matters most to him, the thing that he cares about the most in the world: min yoongi's happiness is gone, and it is his fault. 

he wishes he could take the pain away.

great hoseok. you've been trying to be the source of yoongi's happiness for most of his life, and now you're the source of pain.

like all those years ago, never had hoseok felt so pessimistic.

—

it is another one of the drab nights. when the others leave and just hoseok and yoongi, alone in their grief. yoongi stands beside hoseok's bedside, tapping his fingers onto the headboard.

hoseok then begins humming quietly, the corners of his mouth beginning to upturn.

he sings hoarsely:

"naeireun kkumkkudeon deiteu nal
cham yeppeun byeolgwa yeppeun dal
nal bichuneun bit,
neulttara deo modeun sesangi nal wihan geot gata right?"

"what are you singing?" yoongi asks, smiling a bit. he tilts his head as he gazes at his boyfriend.

"just... a song," hoseok says, looking up at yoongi with a small grin.

yoongi feels a little bit of happiness glimmer in his heart, but it only lasts a short while. he wishes a million times he could hear hoseok's voice for just a moment longer. tears well up in his eyes and he looks down at his shoes.

"ill miss you," yoongi whispers solemnly, his voice small.

"i'll miss you more," hoseok replies.

silence. hoseok stares at his boyfriend.

rivulets of tears spill down yoongi's cheeks.

yoongi looks up.

"we don't have a lot of time left, hobi."

hoseok sighs lightly before sitting up on his bed and gesturing yoongi to sit. yoongi complies and settles beside him, resting his head onto hoseok's shoulder. hobi gently runs his fingers through yoongi's dark hair.

"don't say that," hoseok says gently, "don't get yourself sad yoonie..."

yoongi shakes his head, burying himself into hoseok's arms.

hoseok pulls yoongi closer to him in a warm, tender embrace. they sit side by side on the hospital bed, saying nothing. yoongi sniffles and hoseok leaves a kiss on the boy's forehead.

"don't cry my yoon; i miss your laugh everyday," hoseok whispers. yoongi blinks slowly, his droopy eyes focused on the wall across from him.

hoseok smiles sadly, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he recalls the perfect life they used to have. everything about it felt flawless, beautiful, and pure. but hoseok still had the thought in the back of his head. the guilt, the illness...

he looks at yoongi once more.

but it was beautiful. yoongi was beautiful. hoseok could completely forget about everything when he was with him. he went days without remembering his health. and when he did remember... he just locked himself in the bathroom and cried. cried for himself, cried for his friends, cried for yoongi.

he wanted it back. he wanted a perfect future, a perfect family, a perfect life.

why has fate done this to us?

"i love you." yoongi suddenly mutters as he closes his eyes, resting his head on hoseok's chest.

"i love you more," hoseok replies, tenderly pushing a strand of yoongi's fluffy hair out of his face.

hours pass and they seldom sleep; hoseok rests for about an hour at a time until he has a coughing fit and yoongi has to take care of him. then they talk until they fall asleep again. it was an irregular, weird pattern but they were used to it. especially since now hoseok's coughing episodes are becoming more consistent...

but now it was just yoongi who was awake, at around 3 in the morning.

he peers out the window and watches the countless twinkling stars illuminating the sky and sprinkled throughout the air.

why, yoongi thinks in dismay, why must hoseok, the brightest, most beautiful star in the endless night sky, be taken away?

why not me? why not the dullest, most dark star that shines seldom and doesn't compare?

no... that's not true anymore. i shine. because hobi makes me shine. he brightens me and my star so i shine almost as brightly as him.

that night yoongi decides the universe isn't fair.

—

yes, hobi was singing 24/7=heaven 

;D