I was laying on brunos chest after we had just slept together. I was so happy with him. But there was something nagging at me. Something I need to deal with. Roman. I hurt him pretty bad And now I felt like crap.
I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at Bruno. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"Would you think I'm a horrible girlfriend of I go talk to Roman?" I asked.
"What? Why would you wanna do that?"
"Its just that I hurt him pretty bad And I don't feel right just letting that go." I said.
"You have a big heart Katie. That's one of the many things I love about you." he said. "You do what you have to do."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And if you want I'll go with you." he said.
"I don't really think that would go well. But I can meet you after." I said.
"Okay. Why don't you just meet me at the studio when you're done?"
"Okay. I love you." I said.
"I love you too baby girl." he said.
I kissed him and then got up and got dressed. I kissed him once more and then walked out.
-
I pulled up in front of the hotel that Roman was staying at. This could go good or bad. He was pretty hurt yesterday when we talked in the studio. It hurt me to know that he was hurting. I knew I shouldn't have cared this much about my ex but it was different when he was the one that hurt me. When I hurt him it was a whole different story because I gave him the wrong idea about us. I had to go fix it.
I found Romans room and knocked on the door. He answered and looked down when he saw that it was me. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"We need to talk. Can I come in?"
Instead of saying anything he opened the door wider for me to walk in. I turned around to him and he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
"Look, we have to talk about what happened yesterday and before that. I don't wanna part ways with you like this." I said.
"I don't wanna part ways with you at all but..."
"Roman you're not making this easy."
"I'm sorry. I'm just a difficult obstacle standing in your way." he said bitterly.
"Don't be like this. Okay? I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. But I'm trying to make it right." I said.
"Its funny how the tables have turned. I remember standing at your door saying this and you slammed the door in my face." he said.
"I know. I understand completely how you were feeling now. And I'm very sorry for that. But can we just talk about this?" I asked.
"Sure. What do you wanna talk about? The fact that you gave me false hope when you slept with me? Or how about how you pulled a one night stand when you left me the next morning? How about how you ripped my heart out and stomped on it?"
I nodded. "Go ahead. Let it all out." I said. I wasn't gonna back down that easy even though he wanted me to.
"I don't wanna let it all out. I just want you. That's all I want." he said.
"I don't know what to tell you other than I'm sorry. I care about you so much Roman but I feel like you're trying to force the past back and that's not possible. We can't be together and carry on exactly as we were before."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because it would never be the same. Because deep down I would always know that you have a daughter and then I'd be reminded of how that daughter came into this world. And as much as I could get used to the idea of you having a family other than me, the reminder would be too much to handle." I said honestly.
"So my screw up is why you don't wanna be with me?" he asked.
"Don't look at it like that. Don't look at your daughter as a screw up. She's not. She's a blessing and as much as it hurt me, she's a gift. She's your gift." I said. "Do I wish that it was me that gave you that miracle? Yeah, sometimes. But then I think, my life is probably just as hectic as yours. I don't have time for a baby right now. Galina does. And I know she'll be a great mom. So please, you have to move on from me. Give galina a chance. Give yourself a chance to be happy without me. You deserve it." I said. I walked up to him and put my arms around him. He gave in and put his arms around me too. "You are one of the best people I have ever met. Don't spend your life pining after someone that's not worth it."
"You'll always be worth it to me." he said.
"You'll always be my first love." I said. I pulled away from him and wiped a tear from my eyes.
"Can we still be friends?" he asked.
I smiled a little. "Of course." I said. I patted his shoulder, kissed his cheek, and then walked out. It was hard but now that we got everything worked out we could move on.
-
I met Bruno at the studio and walked right in to his studio room. He was the only one there.
"Hey." I said sitting down beside him.
"Hey. How'd it go?" he asked.
"I think it went okay. He's still hurt but I think he understands where I'm at now." I said.
"Well I'll give the guy credit. He does have great taste in women." Bruno said with a smile.
"I'm not so sure. I mean I'm nothing special." I said looking at my hands.
"Hey." he got on his knees in front of me and grabbed my hands in his. "You are everything. You are kind hearted and you're smart. You're independent. Talented, beautiful. If that's not special then I don't know what is."
I gave him a small smile. "Thanks. I just feel bad for hurting him."
"Well you have to follow your heart. I mean do feel like you made the wrong choice in choosing me?"
"No. Not at all. I'm happy with you. I love you." I said.
"Then you have nothing to feel bad about." he said. "You can't help who you love."
"You know, you're really sexy when you talk like that. Come here."
He sat down on the couch and I straddled him. My hands tangled themselves in his hair. At least the hair that wasn't covered by his hat. My lips pressed to his and we started making out.
"Wait." I said. "Have we ever had sex in here?"
"No." He said.
"Someone's gonna walk in." I said. I pressed my lips to his again.
"Nope." he said against my lips.
I pulled away. "Why do you always wear hats?"
"Because I don't know what to do with my hair." he said
"Oh I never have any trouble finding something to do with it." I said.
"Tangling your hands in it doesn't count."
"I think it does." I grabbed his hat and put it on my head. "How do I look?"
"Perfect." he said. He pressed his lips to mine and took the hat off of me tossing it to the floor before laying me down. This was the first we had sex in the recording studio and I hoped that nobody decided to show up now.
-
It's been a couple weeks and Bruno and I were inseparable. Today I was filming my music video for Dangerous Woman. Bruno was directing it. The video was a little risky but it was fun. I was in lingerie and just dancing sexy with myself. Nobody else was in this video.
We took the last take and wrapped it up. I walked off the set and stood by Bruno watching the playback. It was amazing.
Bruno put his mouth by my ear. "You need to go change. Looking at you while you're wearing that is torture." he said.
"I think I'll take one of these home." I said with a smirk.
He smiled at me and then continued watching the playback.
-
I was sitting at home just flipping through the channels on TV when I came across a commercial for the VMAs. My picture was on there for the performances. I turned the TV off and grabbed my phone. I was confused as hell about this. I was never told about performing at the VMAs.
Lisa answered on the fourth ring. "Hello?"
"Lisa. What the hell? I just saw on the VMAs lineup that I'm performing." I said.
"Yeah. You are." she said.
"Thanks for the phone call."
"I was gonna call you today. I've been so busy with a million and one things. You know, you're not the only person or band that I manage."
"Okay. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm just shocked. I didn't know that was gonna happen so fast."
"Yeah. Well everyone loves you. You and Bruno Mars are like the top artists right now." she said.
"That's crazy." I said.
"Well get used to it. Your fans love you. And are you ready for this? You have sold fifty thousand copies."
"Oh my God. That's insane Lisa. I can't believe it."
"I know. Okay so you're gonna be doing two songs. You need to prepare everything from outputs to dance moves to rhythms. Everything counts." she said.
"I will. I'll get on it today. Thank you Lisa." I said.
I hung up the phone and jumped in excitement. This was what ideas working for. It was an honor to perform at the VMAs and how I was gonna do it! There couldn't be anything better than this right Now.
There was a knock on my door and I answered it. Bruno was on there other side smiling. He was on one knees and had his hat in his outstretched hand. He looked like a goofball.
I chuckled. "What are you doing?"
"Testing out my ending."
"Your ending?" I asked.
He stood up and put his hat back on his head. "Yeah. We're performing at the VMAs." he said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah. I just got the call from my manager this morning."
"Oh. Me too. I mean I just got off the phone with her but apparently we're both performing." I said.
"Oh that's cool. You haven't performed at any of these things before have you?"
"No. So it's exciting."
"It is exciting. Do you know what songs you're gonna perform?"
"I know one. I just don't know the other. I want them to transition into each other but I'm not sure how it'll work." I said.
"Would you like help from an expert?" he asked.
"Sure. First why don't you see what I can do with my body." I said.
"Oh I can definitely do that." he said.
I laughed as he picked me up and carried me All the way to my bedroom. He was such a dork but he was my dork and I loved him.
