I was sitting in the recording studio willing myself to write a song. Any song. I didn't wanna go through another block. It sucked.
This whole thing with Bruno and Roman wasn't leaving my mind. I felt horrible for both of them. I had to make a decision but how? They were both great guys and they both hurt me. It was a hard decision end it just had to fall on me.
I was sitting at the piano messing with the keys just playing with some different melodies.
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So I say to you..
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oh
I get lost in the beauty
Of everything I see
The world ain’t half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons,
All the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now, yeah
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then...
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Oh
Everything I can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why I need you here
Everything I can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why I need you here
So hear this now...
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
Right now there's a war between the vanities
But all I see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home
I hit the last key and then sighed. Through that whole song I visioned Bruno. I guess that was my decision. Bruno. I mean he did make me fall in love with him every time we were together. And I couldn't help but smile at the thought of him. He was the one for me.
I looked up and saw Roman standing on the other side of the window. I have him a half smile and then stood as he walked in to the booth with me.
"Hey." he said.
"Hi." I said.
"So I think we should talk about what happened." he said.
"Yeah. We should. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking and I was hurt and for a second I saw the guy in you that I used to know." I said.
"I'm still that guy. I may have hurt you and I'm sorry for that but I never stopped being that guy. I love you Katie. I always have." he said.
"Oh. That just make this a little more complicated." I said.
"Tell me you didn't feel anything when we slept together. Tell me everything is fine between us. Tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll take off. I'll leave and I'll never bother you again." He said.
I looked down. This was so hard. I didn't wanna hurt him but I didn't love him. Not like he wanted. Not anymore. I just had to be honest with him.
"Look, Roman, you are an amazing guy and I do love you But I'm not in love with you." I said quietly.
"Oh." he said. "So when we slept together...."
"It was a mistake. I'm sorry." I said.
"Me too." He said.
"But I hope that even though a lot of things have happened between us we can still be friends." I said.
"I don't know if I can do that." he said. He turned to the door but turned back for a second. "Now I truly know what a broken heart feels like." with that he was gone.
I felt a year roll down my cheek. That was not what I had in mind. Even when I tried not to hurt him that's exactly what I ended up doing. I was a real piece of work.
-
I was done in the studio for the day. It was time to go home now. At least that's what I planned until I passed by a bar and decided to stop and have a drink. There was nothing better than drinking away your problems.
I sat down at the counter and ordered a whiskey. The bartender handed it to me and walked away while I drank it was gone in about 30 seconds and then I ordered another and another and another. I was getting tipsy by now.
"Now what is a sexy lady like you doing drinking alone?" I turned my head and saw a man sitting beside me. He had to be in his late 20s but he looked a little creepy.
"Its complicated." I said.
"Isn't it always?" he asked. "So what's your story?"
"Just life." I said.
"Yeah. Me too. Its funny how life gets in the way of a lot of things."
"That's just how life is I guess." I said.
"Look, I may not know you But I'm a great listener is you wanna get out of here so we can talk." he said.
"I'm alright. I don't really wanna talk about it." I said.
"Alright well if your problems are about a guy, I don't know what's wrong with him. If I had a girl like you I'd never let her get away."
"Thanks." I said.
"No problem." he said before walking away from the counter.
I paid for my drinks and then walked out. The air was a little cold but I was pretty much drunk so I didn't care. I decided I needed to pay Bruno a visit now that I had some alcohol in my system.
I got in the car and drove to brunos house, all the while worrying about whether or not I was gonna get stopped by a cop.
Eventually I got to brunos and stopped the car. I could feel myself swaying as I walked to his front door. I knocked on the door but it sounded like pounding. I opened about two minutes later. "Katie. What do you want?" he asked.
I walked inside and he shut the door. "I want you. I have been wanting you for so long Bruno. So you can have me. All of me." I slurred.
"Have you been drinking?" he asked.
I giggled. "Maybe." I said.
"Okay, come on. Quit trying to take your clothes off." He said stopping me from unbuttoning my shirt. "Look, I'll get you some aspirin and then you can crash here."
"No. I don't need you to tell me what to do. I mean, first you hook up with some spank and then you try to get me back and when I tell you what happened with me and Roman you completely freak out and tell me to go away and now you're telling me to crash at your house." I said drunkenly. "We might as well have sex."
"Not like this." he said. He walked away to his bathroom and I paid down on his couch. It was so comfortable. I was out within minutes.
-
I woke up with an enormous headache and sat up. Bruno was sitting on his coffee table looking at me.
I groaned. "What happened? Why am I here?" I asked.
"You don't remember anything do you?" he asked.
"That's kind of why I asked What happened." I said.
"You showed up here last night trying to seduce me and then you crashed on my couch." he said.
"I did?"
"Yeah. How much did you have to drink last night?" he asked.
"Four whiskeys. Maybe five." I said.
"Wow. No wonder." he said.
I stood up. "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
"Bruno, I think that we should talk." I said.
"Yeah I think so too."
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I did to hurt you." I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "And I'm sorry for sleeping with Roman. I was stupid and I was jealous and I was hurt but that didn't mean I had to hurt you. And now I'm hurting more than ever and I know that it's my fault." I paused. "I understand if you don't love me anymore. I wouldn't love me either after what I did. But I just need you to know that I never stopped loving you. Not once. You are the best part of me. At least you were until I fucked everything up." I cried.
"Katie, it's not all your fault. I should have told you about Melanie when it happened. I knew that picture was gonna send the wrong message but I didn't think it was gonna end up like this. I mean I was just hanging out with a fan and I lost an amazing girl in the process. And I am so sorry." He took my hands in his. "If you wanna know if I could ever forgive you, the answer is yes. I forgive you and I hope that you could forgive me." He said.
"Of course I do. I love you." I told him.
"I love you too pretty girl." he said.
I pressed my lips to his and I had to say that it felt amazing. We were back and better than ever!
