For the next few days, I constantly had a content smile on my face. Others glanced at me curiously. They hadn't seen me smile in a while, and I was sure they questioned why I was smiling now, as the Apocalypse was drawing near. I laughed to myself. They probably thought I was crazy.
The night after Lexa came into my dreams, she didn't appear. I was concerned, to say the least, but then I realized there was so much I didn't understand about how she was appearing to me. Did she only show when I needed her and her guidance? Was it difficult for her to communicate with me, and so she had to reserve her strength?
But, the night after that, she did show. She assured me that all was well, and it was because of me that she wasn't able to come the night before. My mind needed to be clear for her to appear, and it wasn't the night before.
"Do you know how we're going to die?" I asked her. In the City of Light, Lexa and I were laying side by side in a clearing with wildflowers growing around us. Trees surrounded the clearing on three sides and the fourth sloped down to a river at the bottom of the hill. From the top of the clearing, we had a perfect view of the mountains that were located on the other side of the river.
Lexa shook her head. "I'm afraid not."
"I imagine it will not be pleasant." I murmured. Lexa didn't respond. She wasn't sure how to.
"Where's Lincoln?" I asked, sitting up. "Can I see him?"
She followed suit. Her eyes danced between mine before answering.
"No. You're only able to see me because of the Flame." She said. "The villages are that way." She said motioning to the north. "We could go, but you wouldn't see anything but an empty field."
I nodded sadly. I'd be able to see him and everyone else soon.
"Anya, Tris, Gustus, Titus, the natblidas...are they here?" I asked cautiously.
She smiled and nodded. "Anya has been teasing me incessantly about you."
I cocked an eyebrow. "What about me?"
"Just that it's absurd that the Commander fell in love with a Skai girl. She thought she trained me with more restraint." She said with a fond smile, probably thinking of memories of her and her mentor.
"I'm glad she didn't," I said softly. There was one person I missed. I swallowed and lowered my eyes, scared to ask. "And Costia...is she here?"
Lexa's smile faltered. She nodded.
I didn't know what I was expecting. It seemed as if everyone was here, I don't know why I thought Costia would be an exception.
"Costia understands that I'll always love her." Lexa began. "But my love for you is very different than my love for her. We are on good terms."
I still couldn't will my eyes to meet hers.
"Clarke." Lexa cooed. The sound of her saying my name sent shivers up my spine. "You are what I want for forever."
When she spoke those words, any doubt I had washed off my shoulders. I looked up to meet her intense gaze. She was intent on making sure I understood.
"Okay." I whispered.
Her stare lightened and she sat back again.
"Your people are here, too." She said. "Mountain men, too. But they don't reside with us."
"Who?"
"The girl you call Monroe, Finn, Wells." She said staring up at the sky. Her eyes shifted to me to get my reaction. "Your father."
