Genuine: The Story of my Life

Chapter 8

Like other teens, I have been in a lot of relationships. Well... I'm probably exaggerating just a little. Truth be told, I've only been in one relationship with a guy at school (at the time I'm writing this). It went good for a while, and then I realized that I just wasn't ready to be in a relationship.

This guy—let's call him Joseph (for the sake of anonymity I will not say his real name)—and I had sort of known each other for a few years, having attended the same school. But although we attended the same school, we were in different classes and never really talked all that much... That is, until one day in the summer of 2014, when he mysteriously showed up at my house for the first time. (Okay, maybe not mysteriously. I told you I'm prone to exaggeration!)

My parents and I were doing work outside (more precisely, I was cutting the grass on the ride-on lawnmower), when my mom saw someone walking down our quarter mile-long driveway. We didn't know very many people at the time, so she didn't know who it was. But the moment I saw him, I realized.

I actually said, out loud, "Oh my gosh, I know this guy." What followed the outburst was eventful. I decided my best move was to hide inside the house, because I am very shy (as you know), and I didn't really want to talk to this guy outside of school.

Unfortunately, my plan backfired, so I went back outside and talked to him.

Joseph and I talked for probably an hour or two; I don't even remember what we were talking about... but at some point during the conversation—in an attempt to get to know each other better-- we decided to hang out over the summer. My dad, naturally being overprotective, was skeptical about him—so he made a rule. I was allowed to hang out with him, but we couldn't hang out in my bedroom.

Our summer hangouts went good; I remember we spent most of our time in the loft of my house, playing games on the Wii (He actually showed me how to navigate the Disney's Ratatouille game, one that I had struggled with since I bought it). And eventually, these hangouts continued once school had started. We were just friends... that is, until one moment near the end of 2014.

We were playing a Truth or Dare game, and one of the questions that came up was something to the extent of "do you have a crush on someone in this room?" I obviously said no, as I wasn't planning on being in a relationship at the time. As for Joseph, he remained silent and got his phone out, texting someone. Ding, my phone went, and little did I know that the one text would change my whole perspective.

"Yes," he had sent. One word that pretty much changed the whole stance on our relationship.

I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship in any way, because we had a pretty good friendship at the time. However, I could tell he had feelings for me.

For years, I had watched this sort of situation play out in TV shows; however, this was the first time I experienced it for real. And, truth be told, I didn't know how to react. I actually avoided the guy for a few weeks once school was back in session, because I didn't know what to say to him.

A few months later, I was at a Christian youth conference in the city. My favorite band, for KING & COUNTRY, was performing (they were the headlining act for the final day of concerts)... and in the midst of the inspirational music, the percussion, and the 10,000 screaming fans, I realized something. It was like God was speaking to me, saying that I should talk to Joseph and maybe even pursue some sort of relationship with him. So the following week, I approached him in the music room and told him everything.

He was super happy when I told him that I wanted to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and it stayed that way for a few months. Eventually, the relationship was called off (by yours truly), after I realized that I wasn't ready to be in a relationship like that. My parents agreed with my decision—after all, I was only 16 at the time.

Word of advice: if you're going to break up with someone, don't do it over text (or over a 15-second phone call). It will only make the feelings worse. I should've probably met up with him somewhere and talked about it... but, come to think of it, I'm glad I didn't—in case anything bad happened.

He still had strong feelings for me for about a year or two after I told him—it got to the point where I actually felt unsafe, because he was going to do anything to win me over. For example, he was set on proposing to me when he turned 18, and if I found someone else before then, he would literally fight to win me over. One December afternoon, when I was doing Christmas shopping in the city, he actually threatened to come into whatever classroom I was in (after Winter break)—while classes were going on—and kiss me, even though we were no longer together. I felt so scared, and sent all the details to my friend—who took care of the whole situation for me.

It was a terrifying experience, and needless to say, I haven't been pursuing a relationship since then. I have faith that I'll find the right person someday—and it will be so worth the wait in the end. . I still talked to Joseph occasionally after everything, up until I moved to Saskatchewan.