Finally found

Fourteen

HELLO ALL! I don't know if anyone is still reading but to those who are and to those that have been asking for an update here it is! It's been years since I started writing this story I've let myself go when it comes to writing on here but forgot how much I loved doing it. I appreciate every single reader and hope you guys like it. There will be one more long chapter after this so if you're still here, stay tuned :)
All my best, V

It had been a huge battle it wasn't ideal but Lana completely accepted it. It was settled once more that Lana would be able to see Amanda on weekends with the condition of her being back by 5pm on Sundays. It was her first time seeing her in person in a month and her stomach felt a thousand different things. It was so hard to plan a weekend with her baby girl knowing that she would have to say goodbye at the end of it. Jen and Colin decided it would be fit to decorate Lana's house with "Welcome Home" banners balloons and other decorations they all missed her so much and knew that neither Lana nor Amanda were content without each other.
Lana made her way over to Amanda's old house ecstatic to finally spend some quality time with her. She slowly pulled up to the house and noticed that Amanda was outside playing soccer with her brothers her adoptive parents sitting on the front porch. She saw the smile on her daughters face playing with her brothers running back and forth and simply kept driving straight. She didn't know why she did this but part of her felt upset not at Amanda but at herself. "How could you do this to her? Put her in this position?" she said to herself. She knew Amanda loved her but she also knew that she had a family before all of this. She had parents that loved her and brothers who looked up to her and felt terrible at the fact that she was separating them. "We're never going to have what they have" she thought. She drove back home teary eyed and walked back in.
"WELCOME HOME" screamed Jen and Colin coming out from behind the couch surprised to see Lana coming inside alone.
"What happened?" asked Jen in a sad tone
"I saw her" she said breaking down in tears
"What do you mean you saw her did you guys argue is everything okay?" asked Colin while Jen wrapped her arms around Lana attempting to comfort her
"I-I saw her playing soccer with her brothers she looked so happy and her parents were outside they all looked so happy" she cried
"Lana you're her parent" said Jen reassuringly
"I know Jen but I'm not that kind of parent I don't have siblings for her I don't have a partner I don't have the happiness she needs. She needs a stable family and a stable life where I'm not dragging her around all the time or only play mom and daughter with her" she replied
"Lana you know she loves you she knew you were going to pick her up don't you think she wants to see you? Didn't she tell you she felt out of place and that she was dying to see you?" Asked Colin
"Yeah she did Colin but it's different now. Times gone by and shes gotten used to her normal routine again she knows she loves me because I am her birth mother but like I said I can't give her what she truly needs"
"What she truly needs is love and that's all you've shown and given her since you met her Lana you have to go get her if you don't I will" said Jen
"Yeah me too let's go Jen I'll drive" said Colin in agreement
Just as they spoke Lana's phone rang
"Mom? It's me Amanda my mom let me call you I mean my other mom let me call you to ask where you were Alex and Jason said they thought they saw you drive by earlier did you already come?"
"Honey I'm not going to pick you up anymore there's been a change of plans do you mind if we talk later?" replied Lana her voice cracking as she was tearing up.
"Mom what's wrong do you not want to see me anymore? Are you okay?"
"No honey it's not that"
"Then what else could it be? If you don't want to see me then just say so and I'll leave you alone Lana"
The fact that she called her by her name instead of mom broke her heart
"Mandy it's not like that I promise you all I want to do is see you"
"No it is exactly like that. You don't want to see me and you won't I knew they were right I knew I was being a bother and that you didn't want me in your life I'm sorry" she said crying and hung up
Lana's heart shattered in that moment all she did was cry the rest of the night but little did she know Amanda did the exact same.