New Beginnings

Chapter 10

Alex and I had been sitting in my room for about 5 minutes now and he still hadn't begun to speak. He was thinking hard about figuring out what to say while he watched my reaction carefully. "I didn't mean to kick you out the other night", he then said and breathed out. It was a simple sentence but it was far from enough to calm down my anger. He ran a hand through his delicious hair and looked frustrated for a second. "I know it sounds bad. But my girlfriend was coming over and if she saw you she'd blow the whole thing out of proportion and she'd be so pissed". It was like he thought I would just accept it and everything would be fine. "And that's supposed to make me feel better?", I asked genuinely interested if that was his apology he had spent five minutes thinking about. "No. I'm just telling you how it is". Now it was my time to run a hand through my hair. "Well if you're only here to tell me that, then give me one reason as to why I shouldn't be mad at you". Wasn't that his point? He didn't want me to be mad at him anymore, yet he told me he had no excuse or apology. "Because we're friends. And even if I acted like an idiot, I was hoping you could see through it. Let me make it up to you somehow". He didn't sound very confident. More like it was his last resort and he was hanging on by a thin thread. I was his friend. Only his friend. "I don't know Alex. Friends don't throw out their friends when they know they can't find their own way back home". It was only then he realized that I had no idea where he lived. His eyes widened and he placed his palm on his forehead. "Oh shit, I totally forgot. Dammit, that makes it even worse!". I sighed and stood up. "Maybe you should go Alex". My voice was low and I looked at the floor. I couldn't stand to see him like that. I knew it was the right thing to do though. Maybe this was my way out. If I didn't talk to him, I wouldn't have to look at something I could never get. I could stop hoping and enjoy my time here. "But Maya...", he stood up as well and placed his hand lightly on my arm. "Please". I knew he was giving up. I know it was a stupid thing to stop being friends with someone over, but it was the only way. I couldn't let him know that I had already forgiven him. But not because of his explanation. This reason he could never know about. He couldn't know that I forgave him as soon as he looked me in the eyes because he'd find out about my stupid crush. And that would ruin everything more than it has already. He let go and with his head hung low he left and closed the door behind him...

I spent that weekend in my room. Elijah had called Sunday asking what had happened between Alex and me, but I just gave him a bland answer and changed the subject to him and Sophie. He told me it had gone extremely well. They hadn't had their first kiss yet, but he wanted to wait until it felt right. Girls could only wish for guys like that, and I was glad that Sophie had found someone so wonderful. We had spent the next hour talking, but I avoided any conversation about Alex. Of course that was hard since they were best friends, but he seemed to get that I wasn't ready for it yet.

It was now Monday and a big football game was coming up. The school was buzzing with excitement. Even teachers seemed to be interested. And the more people I encountered, the more I got excited as well. I wanted to a part of the team spirit and the only way I could do that was to try.

"You're coming for the game tonight right?", Jack surprised me as he placed his hands on my shoulders. I was standing at my assigned locker where I secretly spied on Alex who was at the end of the hall by his own locker. He hadn't made an effort with his outfit today. Just a couple of jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. I would ask how he managed to wear a sweatshirt without being boiling hot, but I kept reminding myself that we were no longer talking. Tearing my eyes away from him I turned to Jack and smiled. "Of course. I wouldn't miss it". I took out my science books and accidentally slammed the locker. I felt Alex eyes on me but I forced myself not to look. It was so much harder than I had first anticipated. "Cool. Also, PJ invited us to his house after. Not a party, just us. You can invite Sophie as well". I was going to PJ's house? Where Alex also lives? No way. "What if I'm not going?", I asked as he walked me to my next class. Even though he was a big goof he had a great heart. "Oh come on Maya. Alex is not even going to be there", he was pleading and I had no choice but to give in. Oh, I hated how easy it was to persuade me. "Fine. But I'm not watching horror movies". We reached my class and as I entered I sighed. This was going to be hell. "Today we're learning about atoms and radioactivity", our teacher started talking as soon as he entered. He never wasted time and didn't let us have any small breaks. He also spent most of his time talking. So whenever he would use the entire lesson just on talking, I would take notes. I knew I had no chance in hell if I didn't. So as he called our names and begun, I pulled out my notebook. Besides me, someone made a noise. I turned my head to see the source and nearly dropped my bag. He was gorgeous. The guy I had somehow never seen in this class had piercing blue eyes and hair to just above his shoulders. It was a beautiful blonde color. In my opinion, most guys couldn't pull off the long hair, but he was killing it. My eyes locked with his silver nose ring and I blushed. I looked down at his clothes and noticed his black shorts and a tie dye t-shirt. He was also wearing a couple of vans. He looked like a surfer dude but the nose ring told me otherwise. "Can I borrow a pen?". I mentally slapped myself as I realized I had been checking him out for far too long. He had totally noticed. "Yeah sure". I handed him the pen and he smiled a blinding smile for me and turned around to listen to our teacher. How come I had never seen that guy before?