When The Tears Wave Goodbye

#15 Letters I'll never send prt 2

Dear you,
Do you remember the day we met? It was an accident really, you were trying to find the history class and you asked if anybody was going in that direction.I offered to walk you there and I introduce myself to you and that was the day we met. Later on I found out you rode the bus and sat right behind me, we became friends Almost instantly. I knew I liked you the moment I met you. It was just something about you. Your smile, your eyes, oh my God, your eyes. They could light up the room. Your personality, your laugh, your looks, everything about you just drove me insane but not in a bad way. I was always going to be too afraid to tell you I liked you. And the day you asked me out my heart was racing, I couldn't have been happier. I had been dealing with a lot but never once did you give up on me. You loved me with all of your heart and I loved you with all of mine. I never loved someone as much as I did you. We had so many plans together and all I can think now is what happened? Where do we go wrong ? where did I go wrong? What did I do to lose you? I miss you every single day . the day you left we were fine we had stayed after school together. We spent the afternoon under the tree kissing, being happy, and so much more. And then that all changed a few hours later when you broke up with me over a text. My world collapsed in an instant. I had to try so hard not to cry myself to sleep that night . hoping it was all a dream I woke up the next morning and realized it wasn't a dream. It was all real and you were gone. I didn't understand what happened I didn't understand why you left . we were fighting so much over my best friend and I didn't understand if that was why. God I loved you so much and I still do I feel like such an idiot. The day you told me you wanted to marry me was the happiest day of my life. I didn't think somebody cared that much about me or was ever going to. We had planned so much already for that and then you just left it all behind, you moved on. How could you leave me like that? You left me alone and dealing with everything on my own . after you told me you had a girlfriend you didn't even try to be my friend you just left me. And when you did talk to me you treated me horribly. Why did you hug me and hold me and make me feel like we had a chance? why did you do that if I never did? Do you know how much that hurt? It felt like my heart was being ripped out and stabbed by a bunch of knives and jumped on and then torn apart more if that's possible. You left me alone to pick up the pieces not even realizing that it was you who helped keep me together. I wasn't strong enough yet to be left alone. I didn't expect to be left alone anymore, I thought you were going to be there forever. That's what I was expecting, that's what you told me, that's what you promised. And then I found out that you had lied to me more than once when you swore you never lied to me before. I began to question whether or not you even loved me. Did you? Or was that just a lie too? Did i even matter to you? Were just using me? Did you bother to think about how broken you were gonna leave me when I trusted you and opened up to you? I had so many trust issues and you made them go away to what? Screw me over in the end? I hate that I'm in love with you even after all this shit you put me through. I hate that i fucking miss you every single day and that my heart still tries telling me to stop crying that you'll be back soon. But I know you aren't coming back, because you don't love me anymore...why else would you leave if you did?