Who I Am Now

Chapter 1

Shirayuki P.O.V

I did something I never could even begin to fathom...running from him. This wasn't the first time I ran from someone but I thought that would be the last. There was so many rumors about what happened, they just assume like its fact. It was hard to leave this life that I had created, all these wonderful people who I cared for. I couldn't sit around and watch this happen though.

Suitors were bound to come, I mean that was no secret but I never thought he would take it this far. They fit together well...great even, anyone could see it if they watched long enough. And all I could seem to do was watch, everytime my chest ached and the burn would get a little stronger. He said it was an act, he lied and I knew but I still nodded like I believed him. You can only get burned so many times before you start to see it coming from a mile away.

Those days they spent together seemed to stretch and never end, all while everyone pretended everything was fine but they all knew. I thought maybe if I didn't say it then it wouldn't be true, that it would go away. They would get stuck in these moments, when they would dance, talk or even just glanced at each other.

It was too late for us, nothing that I could ever say or do could ever put us back together again. I had no one but to blame but him and I, how could I blame the girl we asked for help in the first place. I wondered if we set it in motion or if it was always bound to happen.

In our last days, they distanced themselves from each other and he stuck by me like he was trying to restablish his feelings for me. His mind and heart wasn't in the moment, it was preoccupied by someone else now. I knew that he no longer would be happy by my side as his heart belonged to someone else.

That day set things in motion, how I was gonna leave, what I wanted to do, and where I was gonna do it. I thought about how I wanted to say goodbye, yet nothing seemed quite right. Not everyone deserved a goodbye, let alone a explanation from me. In the end, I couldn't face them head one and letters were placed where they could find them.

I ran into someone on my way out, they were waiting for me like they knew from the beginning this was how it would end. I couldn't even be mad at them for letting it happen, because their presence had brought so much comfort in this moment. Regardless of our past with each other, even though comfort had never been a feeling I'd experienced with them before.

My chest hurt and my throat burned as I exited the gates, the ride away from the castle seemed to last. My mind blank, I felt so exhausted in this moment. These past weeks weighed on my mind. But there was no time to regret the past, it was time to figure out what I wanted. 

I made the mistake of closing my eyes because before I knew it I was pulled into a deep sleep. My sleep seemed to drag on, longer then the ride should have been when I woke in a panic. I realized that I was no longer alone and my sleep wasn't just that, I had been knocked out cold. It's like I could never quite catch a break.