The Thoughts That Weren't Suicidal

34 | Liability (Reprise)

"Yes Adri, it's a ring." She confirmed, before standing up from her spot and walking over to sit next to me. I gave her a small glare but eventually turned my body in her direction.

She opened the box for me, then pulled out the ring. I guess if I had opened the box all the way, I would've seen that it was a little different than an engagement ring. The ring was pretty wide, with two gaps on the top and bottom that circled the entire ring. It was silver and the diamond sat right in the center of the ring.

"It's a mix between an anxiety ring and a promise ring. When you're nervous and I'm not around, you can use this. The middle of the ring spins around really easily." She explained, demonstrating with her finger.

My mouth fell into an 'o' shape, as embarrassment ran over me. This is actually really sweet, and I tried to give her a concussion over it.

Tragic.

"It's also engraved inside." She added, handing me the ring so that I could see.

I love you always - K.

The first real smile in weeks spread across my face and I threw my arms around Kristina as tightly as I could. She's voluntarily dealt with my crazy for the past six months, and she still loves me. She still wants to be around me even though I chuck things at her. She still wants to hang out with me even though all I do is frown and complain when we go out. I've never been treated so well and I am so thankful.

"I love you too Kristina," I whispered in her ear, and she responded by giving me a tight squeeze.

Eventually, I pulled away from her and held out my hand in excitement. Kristina took my right hand gently in hers, then slid the ring onto the ring finger. Now I'm the one with the obnoxious smile.

I sat there admiring the ring for a few moments, before remembering that I have presents to give to Kristina. I stood up from my spot on the floor before walking over to my dresser and pulling out two boxes.

"Two presents? I already feel upstaged." Kristina commented, pretending to be offended. I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration, before taking my spot next to her again.

"Well one of them isn't really present, it's more of a-"

I paused when Kristina laid a hand on my shoulder. I glanced down at my own hands to find them slightly shaking from my nerves. My presents definitely aren't as cute as Kristina's, so this is a little intimidating. I did respect her wish for me to get the present by myself, but still.

"I'm sure I'm going to love it Adri." She reassured me, before taking the boxes away from me. "Is there one that you'd like me to open first?"

I pointed to the smaller box and Kristina smiled before setting the larger one next to her and beginning to open the box.

"That's the one that's not really a present. It's more of a...I guess my version of a promise ring." I rambled nervously, waiting for her to open the box.

Eventually, she got through all of the wrapping paper, and could finally take the lid off of the box. After pulling out the tissue paper that I had put there, she pulled out the razor with a confused expression.

"A few months ago, you took away all of my razors and blades so that I wouldn't hurt myself. At least, you thought that you had taken everything. That one was taped underneath my desk. I haven't used it since before I met you, but still." I paused to breathe and looked away from Kristina so that I wouldn't see her reaction to this.

"I'm giving it to you because it's my way of showing you that I don't want to...do that anymore. I mean I'm still sad, that's probably never really going anywhere, but I don't want to...leave anymore. I want to stay with you." Although my voice was shaky, I'm very confident about this decision.

I never thought that the day would come where I wouldn't want to die anymore. Just a few months ago the idea seemed impossible. However, Kristina really has come into my life and destroyed it for the better. I used to think her not wanting to leave my side was a little weird, but now I appreciate her being a stalker.

There was a rustling of papers and then I heard the lid of the box going back on. Both Kristina's hand found mine which brought my attention back to her. I watched as she brought both of my hands up to her lips, and kissed the inside of both palms.

"Thank you, Adrianna," Kristina whispered quietly, tears gathering in her eyes. I rolled my eyes at her slightly mocking her for being so emotional, before leaning in to kiss her briefly.

"Yeah, yeah. Open the other one. I like that present a lot more."

Kristina placed one more kiss onto my knuckles, before picking up the second box. I clasped my hands in excitement as I watched her unwrap it. This one took me a little while to put together, but that's okay because I've had a lot of free time lately.

Eventually, Kristina got to the gift and her obnoxious smile returned as she pulled the jar from the box.

"It's a jar full of nice things I have to say about you for you to look at when I'm being really mean. There's a lot of things in there because I'm mean a lot." I admitted with a small shrug. There's no use in trying to argue against it; there are about 50 people who can testify to it.

"Not mean. Just difficult." Kristina corrected, setting the jar down. She moved closer to me and leaned in, kissing me for a lot longer than last time.

"Thank you. I love this and I love you." She mumbled against my lips, before placing one more kiss on my lips.

"I love you too I guess," I said with a long sigh, laying my head against her shoulder.

Kissing Kristina and being in love with her is something I think that I can do for the rest of my life. My thoughts are never suicidal around her and even the voices in my head have come to love her. She's given me friends and confidence, two things I've never had before and have come to enjoy. She loves my family and is always on my side. There are so many things that she does for me that no one will ever be able to mimic.

I can't thank Kristina enough for throwing herself into my life.

Do you think that Kristina is going to make us happy forever Adri? Yeah, I think so.

No. I know so.