In Between the Lines

Chapter 20: If You Can't Fix It, Then Mix It

I stopped where I stood and turned around to meet him. "Dez."

"What the hell is going on?" He was frowning as he approached, and I hated that I was the reason for that frown. For so many of them since we'd met.

But even I wasn't convinced by my traitorously weak voice as I said, "I told you. I house-sit sometimes for the people next door—"

"No."

"And there's a fancy dinner tonight—"

"Stop."

"And we're celebrating the boss's new contract—"

"Stop that, Lyra. Just—stop." Dez gritted his teeth, closing his eyes as he finally stopped in front of me. I could see that he was tired, that I was hurting him.

Because he'd known. He always knew when I was lying.

And yet, the only thing that ran through my mind as I looked up at him, standing there trying to gain control over his anger . . . was that he hadn't called me Peacock.

When Dez opened his eyes, they were near-ashen. His voice was drained. "You know, the other day, I thought we got over the whole 'lying' thing, but we're never going to get past that, are we?"

That dark pocket in my heart grew a bit tighter, tearing a small rip at its fringes.

"Will you at least tell me why?" He stepped forward, taking my hand in his. "Maybe . . . maybe if I knew why you felt the need to lie about these things, I could try to understand." There was enough worry, enough desperation in his voice that I nearly gave him what he was asking for.

But despite the way my heart shredded as I looked at him, I managed to croak out, "No."

He dropped my hand cold.

"I see."

I shook my head. "No, Dez. You don't—"

"And to think, I was actually starting to think we were friends." His smile was bitter. "What a fool that must make me, huh?"

"We are friends."

"Friends don't lie. Not like this. Not over something as simple as this." A flicker of anger carried through. And then he brought his gaze to me, carefully assessing everything from head to toe. It wasn't like the way he'd been looking at me earlier. There was something different in his stare this time around, almost like he was seeing through a new lens too.

When his eyes met mine again, they narrowed. Venom trickled down his voice as he said quietly, "Who are you?"

I wasn't the type to let my fear show. Maybe I blushed more than I liked to admit, but I never, ever faltered with my words—until now.

"W-what do you mean?"

"I mean," Dez said, stepping forward and closing the space between us in one slick stride, "I've had enough of your secrets, Lyra. So who are you? How the hell did you find out about my secret? Why are you so afraid of being seen out in public? Why did you lie about Ethan being your cousin? And why are you lying about house-sitting for the people next door? Who. Are. You."

I didn't know how to answer him.

"Lewis thinks there's something off about you." He cocked his head slightly. "And I'm beginning to think he's right."

"Dez—"

"Just answer the god-damned question."

"I can't."

Dez looked like he'd been expecting it. He nodded, his smile growing more and more mocking. Cold.

"You can't. Of course you can't. I bet you can't tell me why, either. You know, I've tried so fucking hard to be the person you—" He gritted his teeth, slowing his breaths before he started again.