In Between the Lines

Chapter 20: If You Can't Fix It, Then Mix It

"Actually, I came here to talk to you about my dad."

"Oh." She straightened, her eyes darting to the direction of my house for a second before she forced another smile. "I hope he's doing well."

A sliver of hope ran through me, and I threw the speech I'd prepared out the window as I got straight to the point. "I know he messed up, but he likes you, Gina. I know he does. Please don't let my mother being in town ruin that for the both of you."

Gina's eyes flashed with what looked like consideration for a moment before she placed a would-be comforting hand on my shoulder . . . had I not known that the sympathetic touch meant rejection.

"I'm sorry, but like I told your father, I just don't think this is the best time," she said. "Things with your mother . . . well, when he called and explained why he had to cancel the date, I realized that I had my own things I needed to sort through, too. It's no secret that my divorce was just finalized. I don't want us to rebound with each other, especially because we're next-door neighbors. It could make things awkward if things didn't work out. I honestly do think it's for the best, and I hope both you and your father can understand that."

Feeling the genuine truth in her words, any hope in my chest deflated. I didn't have it in me to say anything else, so I bowed out gracefully, only giving her a small nod in response.

"But if you need anything at all," she added gently, "this doesn't mean you shouldn't still come by, okay? Don't be a stranger. If it's just to talk or even if you're bored, I'm more than happy to have you over. Between you and me, now that my daughter is off at college and my ex-husband is gone, the house gets a little too quiet for my taste." She gave me a small smile, and I wished more than ever that there was something I could say or do to change her mind about my father.

But I didn't want to look like some idiot, so desperate for a new mother that I was begging my neighbor to go out with my dad. And I didn't want to risk making my father look desperate either by making her think I was pleading on his behalf.

So I raised my chin and said, "I understand, Gina. Thanks for hearing me out, anyway. And thank you . . . for keeping my secret. I know it isn't right for me to ask you to lie to family, but—"

"Oh, don't you go feeling bad, alright? I understand perfectly well. Just have a good dinner tonight with your parents. Don't worry about Lewis or Dez. As far as they're concerned, you're not my neighbor." She winked. "Just their house-sitter."

I nodded, giving her the best smile I could muster as we said our goodbyes and she walked back into her house. Despite the comfort I felt at knowing she would keep my secret, there were still too many threads coming loose. I wasn't sure what it was I was feeling anymore. Angry? Guilty? Sad? Even if there was a word for whatever all those combined caused me to feel, I didn't think it would be enough.

Because now, Gina no longer wanted to go out with my father.

My father, who was bound to come home tonight with his heart ground to dust.

Home, where I was now going to be living next door to Lewis—who had it out for me because he thought I was out to hurt Dez.

And Dez, with that accusing look on his face as he went inside . . .

I headed back down Gina's driveway, tucking all of those thoughts into a dark, tightening pocket of my heart. Soon, too soon I would be having dinner with my mother, and if I was going to survive that, then I knew I needed to save my strength. If not for me, then for my father.

But then a door behind me sounded open, and I knew that the fight for my strength was going to be an uphill battle. I didn't have to turn around to know whose footsteps were coming towards me. To know that there was no running away from him this time.