Chapter 1

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Frustration was overflowing through me while I stared into the mirror trying to find the perfect outfit. It was like this every day. Sometimes the top looked fine but my legs looked like cottage cheese in the pants. Or sometimes my jeans fit perfectly but my fat hung out of my shirt. I was now staring at my third outfit. A light blue pair of jeans with a white tank top underneath my hoodie. Sweaters were my best friend yet worst enemy. They covered my stomach, but sometimes the sweaters would be too big and make me look like an elephant. I didn’t really like anything about myself. My neck was too fat, along with my face, stomach, and every part of my body. My hair was a very boring brown. I had never dyed it, was too afraid I would do it wrong or it wouldn’t look right. The only part of me I was fine with was my eyes, but only half fine. They were hazel, but changed to a cat-like yellow when I was exhausted. On some days they were brown, and on others they were green. I wanted just full green eyes.

                I clutched my love handles and gripped them tightly. Why couldn’t these things just disappear instead of making my life a living hell? Letting out a sigh, I walked away from my mirror figuring this outfit would be alright. I grabbed my backpack and swung it over my shoulder then headed out to my car. I wasn’t in the mood for any breakfast and I was going to be late anyway. The ride to school was about ten minutes and I parked near the front. It was the last day of school and everyone was hyped, except for me. I preferred the cold weather. Summer meant high temperatures and sweating, things I weren’t looking forward to.

                The snickers and insults filled my ears as I walked through the hallways. I just wanted to find my first hour class so I could sit in the back and ignore everyone. The hallways were a nightmare because they were always so crowded. The amount of students in the school was around two thousand. Sometimes people walked too slow, slowing everyone behind them down and it was nearly impossible to pass them. There were also the usual runners and fast walkers. Those were mostly freshmen. The seniors were the slow ones.

I felt a shove and turned around to see a couple of football players passing by. “Move it fatty!” They yelled and laughed to each other.

                I used to cry at those comments, but now I was so used to them. You would think high schoolers would be more mature, but that’s not always the case. When I was a freshman I spent almost all of my free period in the bathroom stall crying my eyes out. But now, as the years went by, the insults were like breathing air. They were a part of my life and followed me around everywhere.

Finally finding my class, I headed in and took a seat in my usual spot near the back. It was less chance of me getting called on and making a fool out of myself. I smiled when Sasha and Robbie walked in together and sat next to me.

                Sasha was my best friend. We met in middle school gym class when we were paired up for square dancing. She had a slender body and was one of the popular girls. I didn’t understand why she always stuck with me, even with the ridicule she got for being my friend. I felt bad for her sometimes. It was my fault that she was judged. No one really messed with her though. They would make small comments, but she was really high up in the popularity scale. She was the head cheerleader and also a math tutor. Everyone loved her.

                Robbie was her twin brother. We had become close because of Sasha. He was one of those skater kids that always got in trouble. He didn’t care about my weight, which was nice. At first he insulted me, but I think he knew how much it hurt and he stopped. Those two people were the reason I was still alive, and my mother. They kept me happy through almost everything.

                History class played out like usual. I kept my mouth shut along with Sasha. Robbie though was a history nerd. He always knew everything about anything. He was kind of a teacher’s pet in this class, but it was okay because no one else ever raised their hand. You would never think that a boy of his appearance would be a nerd. Not only was he smart with history, but practically every subject he took he always got an A. My grades were an average C mostly. And Sasha was an A and B student.

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