Never Again

Chapter 56: Heartache

Suddenly an arm was put around her shoulders and she instantly froze. What on earth was he doing? She tried not to move, but when he put his second arm around her and pulled her close against his body she couldn't stay put. She tried to get free, to get him to move his arms, but he wouldn't budge. Trying not to panic she looked up to his face for the first time since he arrived, to somehow make him to let go of her. When her eyes reached his face, she stopped breathing for a moment. He looked a mess, almost unrecognisable as the good looking guy he was. She swallowed with difficulty and couldn't tear her eyes away, she even forgot why she had looked up in the first place. She was unable to miss the hurt displayed on his face and when they locked eyes she was taken aback even more. The bright friendly blue eyes reminding her of mysterious undiscovered oceans had turned into pale dark pools of sadness sunken into his sockets. It seemed like he was staring right through her and that broke her heart, at least the pieces that were left unbroken.

She felt the anger slip from her body, relaxing her muscles and she stopped fighting his arms. It looked like he needed this as much as she needed it herself, although she didn't want to admit that. She noticed her self-control subsiding as she leaned into his embrace, taking in how good it felt to have his arms wrapped around her body. She knew it should make her angry, despise him for doing this, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was feeling too comfortable, too familiar, too safe to let go. She laid her head down on his shoulder, burying her face in the curve of his neck, just like she had imagined doing a few hours back. He still smelled like himself, despite him looking so dishevelled and it was soothing her instantly. Her hands made their way around his waist and she hold him so tight that it was like she was trying to make it impossible for him to get away. Not that he made any intentions to get away, it just felt necessary to do so. She was too afraid of losing him, although she knew that you couldn't lose something you don't even have.

They stayed like this for a period of time both couldn't point out how long exactly. For Keira it felt like hours, hours of perfect bliss, like she was there where she belonged. The softness of Sebastian's skin, his clothes and the little movements he made with his hands to comfort her were everything that she ever longed for. He had rested his head against hers, his nose in her hair and his eyes closed, hiding the feelings that where visible for everyone who looked into them. Everything else around them had disappeared, all that mattered was holding each other like this, not thinking of what would happen when they let go. Whenever he touched her skin the flock of butterflies in her stomach erupted again and a little smile had broken through on Keira's face, there was no doubt that her feelings towards Seb hadn't changed.

When a bird flew over their heads, making a loud noise which echoed between the mountains, they were awoken from their trance and broke apart. Suddenly both a little shy they didn't know where to look as an invisible wall had been build up between them, making them both increase the space separating them. The warmth of Seb's kin was suddenly lost and the coldness it was replaced with made Keira shiver, it also brought back real life. Being held by Seb had made her forgot about everything and that made the sudden return of the unpleasant memories even worse. She longed for his touch while on the other she wished he would just disappear. It tore her heart apart feeling such opposite things and when she looked at Seb she knew from the look in his eyes that he wasn't going away. He looked a bit better though and she felt the urge to tell him it was all going to be alright, but Hanna was probably better in cheering him up though.

They sat in silence again, until Seb could no longer take it. 'I still need to explain. I have been dishonest with a lot of people, so it's my turn to tell the truth about everything. I especially owe it to you,' he said with his eyes fixed on the banks of the lake. His right hand was wrapped around his other wrist and that hand was turning white from the lack of blood as he was squeezing so hard.