I CAN'T SAVE US ↠ KAI PARKER

12. it feels right

I brought my hand up to his cheek caressing it, as his blue eyes began to darken but he relaxed his muscles at the touch almost immediately. I didn't exactly understand what he was talking about but the pain and sadness in his eyes made me my heart ache for him "I'm so sorry, Kai" I whispered softly and he took my hand off his cheek, intertwining his fingers with mine as he held my hand and I placed our linked hands over my lap.

"but I found you and I won't let her ruin things this time," he promised and I squeezed his hand, giving him a half-smile "you probably have no idea what I'm talking about but It'll make more sense once we get your memories back"

"So where were you?" I asked and he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face "I might be getting this wrong but from what I've heard you didn't know I was in London, right? you had to find me, I've been in London for almost two years? So, I'm guessing you were someplace else or looking for me?"

"No, Maddie, you've been in London for five years at least" he corrected me and I shook my head in denial.

"No, I've been in London for two years at most," I said completely sure of what I was saying.

"That doesn't make any sense" he said, frowning a bit confused by what I said.

"With or without compulsion, it's in my passport. I got there, maybe mid march, 2017?" I said a bit unsure about the exact date but I knew I was right.

"You gotta be kidding me" he sneered and laughed bitterly "Just a few months more and I would've–... fucking Katherine, the bitch knew"

"What?" I asked confused and he shook his head in disbelief.

"Where were you between late 2013 and early 2017?" he asked and I was about to answer, only I realized I didn't know how because I couldn't remember and there was no voice to help me out, my mind was in complete blank.

"I don't know... maybe this is where the whole devil thing happened, that's why I can't remember, did we meet somewhere between those years?" I asked and he tilted his head to the side.

"What do you mean you can't remember? That doesn't make any sense" he muttered but it was more like if he was talking to himself "Late June, that can't be right, maybe it took you a year but not four... it can't be four... please tell me it wasn't four" he mumbled, almost pleading and he suddenly slowed down, parking the car on the side of the road.

I looked at him confused and he got out of the vehicle, immediately heading towards the trunk and I got out too, walking towards the back of the car feeling a little dizzy from the sudden movement. Kai opened it up quickly, revealing my bag and another one inside, as well as other stuff. He took my bag and his hands went straight to the side pockets, where he took out my passport from only I didn't remember leaving it there.

"What are you doing?" I asked him confused as he scanned the pages of my passport quickly but he stopped abruptly and his eyes widened, so I figured he had found was he was looking for.

"It was four..." he whispered dreadfully and he closed his eyes, whatever revelation he had just made leaving him completely shattered.

"Kai?" I called his name unsure of what to do and he opened his eyes slowly, my heart breaking at the sight of the water that was now pooling in them "What happened?" I asked concerned and he suddenly hugged me tightly, kissing my forehead a few times "I don't understand, what's wrong?"

"Four years..." he confirmed gutted with his lips against my forehead and I frowned.

"Kai" I said and he sighed, still not willing to let go, so I wrapped my arms around his torso hugging him back.