Hickey

Hickey || 08

"So where's the hot guy you came here for?" I ask her as we head into the house.

"I didn't come here for him," she says defensively even though it was obvious that she was looking for him in the crowd. "School has seriously been stressing me out for the past few weeks. I need to de-stress.

"Whatever you say, Nik."

Eventually, the party really starts. Kids start coming in and the music starts getting louder and more upbeat. Since it was Friday, there were way more people than on other weekdays. I recognize a lot of kids from my school and Nikki also spotted a few kids from her school, including the hot guy she told me about.

She tells me that she's gonna say hi to them so I decided to drink my first beer of the night. I make a promise to myself not to drink more because my parents will still be up when I get home and I don't want them to smell beer on me.

And also maybe because I don't want a repeat of what happened the last time I drank.

When a familiar group of guys walk through the door, I almost spit out my beer. I know them as guys on the football team with Elliot. A few were even still wearing their jerseys, probably coming here straight for practice. I look for my brother but don't spot him—no surprise there. He was most likely already at home having dinner with Mom and Dad.

But they aren't what makes me almost spit out my beer. In the crowd of football players, I spot the guy I've been looking for all day.

Ryder is the last of the group to walk in. He's still in his jersey like the other guys and his blonde hair looks wet. A guy near me shouts something to the team and they all shout back, laughing. Ryder joins them, his smile lighting up the room.

I almost approach him then and there but then quickly realize that that probably isn't a good idea. I can understand why there weren't already rumors about our hookup since that party was hosted by a student from another school, but here with all these kids we went to school with, we had no chance. Rumors would be everywhere tomorrow and Elliot would be the first to hear of them.

That makes me wonder how the team puts up with my brother and Ryder's rivalry. I can imagine them in the field, shooting glares at each other and refusing to pass the football. Or maybe they just ignore each other altogether?

The thought almost makes me laugh.

I wait until the guys disband and start heading to different directions to approach him. Once he was fairly alone (though not completely since a few guys hung around), I whisper, "Ryder!"

His head snaps up and his wide eyes meet mine. I was still a little embarrassed of how we left things last night but I needed to talk to him. Hopefully, the party would be too fun for anyone to notice our little exchange.

I gesture for him to follow and then head out to the front yard, where a few kids were hanging out. Still, we were safer talking out here than inside. Fortunately, he followed me. I would've ended up seriously embarrassed and stupid-looking if he didn't.

I stop walking and face him. "I, uh, didn't see you at school today."

He runs a hand through his messy blonde hair. "I guess I was just busy."

"If I knew any better, it was almost like you were avoiding me," I say jokingly.

He casts his eyes downward, and that's when I realize that he really was avoiding me. My smile immediately fades.

"I just wanted to apologize for last night. For you know, being a bitch and everything." He just stares at me, not saying anything, so I laugh awkwardly, taking a step back. "Well then, I guess I'll see you."

"Wait."

I turn back to him.

"I don't get it," he says so quietly that I almost don't hear him over the music from inside the house. "You should be mad at me. For fuck's sake, you should hate me."

"You should hate me!"

"I like you, Eva."

I do a double-take, sure that I hear him wrong.

"And your brother might just end up killing me," he continues, letting out a shaky laugh. "But you know what? It doesn't matter. What difference does a few punches from him make? I'll still like you at the end of the day. This time, I'm not giving you up."

I don't reply; I don't think I can. I'm too frozen in place, staring at him with wide, shocked eyes. What the hell did he just say? I open my mouth to say something but no words come so I shut it back. Ryder stares back at me, biting his bottom lip.

"Look," I say, breaking the awkward silence. "I just wanna make one thing clear, okay? You didn't take advantage of me."

It takes him a moment for my words to sink in. "But you were drunk—"

"I remember being sober enough!" I say, frustrated.

His eyes widen in shock. "I thought you didn't remember?"

"Not everything, but some parts. I kind of had a flashback last night after you drove me home. I don't remember the end of the night, but I remember us in the kitchen..." My face heats up. "What I'm trying to say is that you didn't make me do anything I didn't want to."

"Are you sure, Eva?"  

I nod, thinking that he would put up another fight and insist that he did just like all the other times before, but instead a small, slow smile makes its way to his face.

"Okay then." His smile could literally melt me right then and there. I can't help but smile back at him. "You should get back inside."

"There you go again, telling me what to do."

He laughs, blue eyes shining. "Sorry."

I laugh as well before turning to head back to the party. Nikki was probably too busy flirting with that guy from her school to notice that I wasn't inside but I had to get home anyway. It was almost seven and I didn't want my mom finding out that I lied to her. I knew that even if Nikki was having fun, she'd drive me home. She was just that kind of friends.

I'm about to head back inside when I hear Ryder call out.

"Oh, and Eva?"

"Yeah?"

"I see that the hickey's fading."

I can't see the hickey but I look down anyway before quickly adjusting my shirt so that it's hidden. It's been two days since he gave this me so it was probably a light shade of violet now. If I'm lucky, it'll be gone before next week ends.

As I take one last look at him, I bring my fingers to the hickey. I can't feel it but I know completely well that it's there.