Ladies, this one is for you. Do you know we are watching? I'm talking about your Christian brothers who are looking for mates. Let's face it, if not now, then in a few years, you will think about settling down, whether those thoughts are appropriate for the season you are in is between you and God, but I believe that it is never to early to get ready for marriage. And when I say watching, I'm talking about both your dress and your attitude. Unfortunately, society doesn't prepare young women for Christian marriages, and that upsets me as a guy who tries to walk in the ways of the Lord, seeing so many of my sisters led astray from the biblical principles by the allure of the world. Nothing illustrates a biblical view of the way a proper woman of Christ should act better than Proverbs, specifically Proverbs 7 and 31, where two ladies, an adulteress and a virtuous wife, are contrasted.
Proverbs 7:6-27 begins with the narrator describing young men, simple he calls them and devoid of understanding, entering the house of a prostitute at night. The woman is loud and rebellious, and doesn't always stay at home, but goes to other places to snare these simple young men. She kisses him and tells him that she is pure, her husband is not at home, and that the bed is all made up, rich with perfume and fine linens, inviting him to have sex with her all night. The narrator says that the prostitute succeeds in seducing the young man, and describes him as an ox to the slaughter, an animal that isn't aware enough to realize that he only has seconds left to live.
I'm not insinuating that any of you dress like prostitutes and actively seek young men to seduce, but I am saying that there are some of you who will dress and speak less modestly in order to gain the attentions of a guy you like. How many of you are loud and show off a little, maybe acting a little silly at times, to attract a guy? Go outside of church to find a boyfriend? Society tells you that these things are alright, that it's "natural". Does the way that the prostitute acts in Proverbs 7 sound like a role model? Sisters, nothing is more powerful than a seductive woman to a young man. I speak from experience, here. Remember that when you dress to impress the guy that you like, you are also inspiring fantasies in every young man who lays eyes on you. Wearing that low-cut top, or those short shorts? It doesn't take a lot to imagine those things just a teeny bit smaller, especially for guys. Sounds disgusting, doesn't it? Trust me, it's a terrible feeling for your Christian Brothers too, and I think that some girls just don't understand what we have to go through because God wired us differently. It doesn't work to tell guys "well, just don't look", and continue to wear that same low shirt or short skirt, because to guys, you are practically asking for us to think unholy thoughts about you. The way you dress speaks volumes about you to true Christian guys. The ones who respect their purity and the purity of their Brothers win way more respect points with them than the ones who dress like the Proverbs 7 woman. The same goes for your speech. The urge to flirt with members of the opposite sex is so great, and sometimes we do it without thinking. I will admit that I, myself, have said some things to my Sisters that I wasn't too proud of after I said them. Although flirting might seem innocent and not overtly sexual, there are times when the words we say cross boundaries of purity. If it inspires a sexual thought, then you are stumbling and causing the person you are flirting with to stumble as well. I think guys and girls are equally guilty of this, so if you know a guy/girl who does this to you or another one of your Sisters/Brothers, stop them! Don't lead them down the path of unrighteousness! I also know of some girls (and guys!) who deliberately put themselves in situations to be stumbling blocks to the opposite sex: cuddling, laying in laps, being in the same room alone just to name a few, and I also encourage you to abstain from doing these things! You might be able to handle it, but will he be able to? It's uncomfortable for Christian guys to be around girls who put them in compromising situations, just as I imagine it would be awkward the other way around! The bottom line is this: don't be a stumbling block to your stupid ox-like Brothers and yourself. As Solomon reminds us in verse 23: "He did not know it would cost his life."; being a pure woman of God is more than just respecting yourself, but also respecting the men around you. Little do you know, but the thoughts your actions provoke could mean separation from God for them!
So I've talked a lot about what an immoral woman is; does the Bible say anything about what a moral woman is? Of course! It comes a little later in Proverbs in Chapter 31, Verse 10: "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." The author doesn't stop there, but continues to say that her husband trusts her and that she doesn't give him bad advice. She works and is successful. She is strong and strengthens those around her. She is generous to the less fortunate. She is the strong support of her husband and speaks wisdom with a kind tongue. She isn't lazy, and her sons and daughters say what a great mother she is! And of course, she fears the Lord! That, my Sisters, is the model of a woman God wants you to be! Not distracting, but uplifting! Not playing dumb and oblivious, but being strong and wise! Not filling mens' minds with romantic fantasies, but with the holiness of God! Even though these verses speak about married women, I believe you can apply these to your relationships even before you get married. What does the author say about women like these? Worth far more than rubies! How valuable are you to your future husband if you take the time to take this advice to your heart! These are the things that a good Christian man is looking for in you, not the ways of the temptress!
As a final thought, Ladies and Sisters in Christ, I urge you to look at your life. How do you act around men? Do you exude Godliness and purity and inspire them to live the same way as you or do you snare them up by your dress and actions? God wants you to be so much more than a Proverbs 7 woman! He created you for a higher purpose than the world wants you to think! Don't believe that a man will only be attracted to you if you act in a promiscuous manner: Solomon says that only the foolish men act are lured by those women. To attract Godly men, act in a Godly manner!
1 Timothy 4:12 -- "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."
