Barry Allen Reader Inserts

Worthless

I KNOW I SAID I UPDATE ON TUESDAYS BUT I FELL ASLEEP AND DIDNT WAKE UP UNTIL NOW! Apparently, my body was so sick of me not sleeping that it kinda just...took over and made me sleep over 12 hours haha oops

You face planted on your couch, the old thing creaking under your sudden fall. You groaned into the cushion for as long as your lungs to take it before you needed air. You picked your head up just a smidge, took a deep breath then face planted again. Boys were stupid and you were ready to just give up on them and move to the Himalayas or something. Become a nun. Start adopting kittens. Maybe even look into one of those free spirit traveling groups and live like a hobo. 

Heck, you probably deserved all this.

You were in the midst of your third round of groaning and seriously contemplating the nun idea when you heard a familiar chuckle behind you. Your body slumped, even more, making you fall onto the floor in a heap. You stared at his shoes as you spoke in monotone.

"Barry I'd appreciate it of you would start distancing yourself from me. I'm about to take my vows."

Barry chuckled again and knelt on the floor, leaning down to make eye contact with you.

"When your mom asked you to get a move on with your life I think she meant a husband and kids. Not a life of celibacy."

His eyes were dancing with mirth and his smile lit up the room. You almost cracked a smile. Almost. Instead, you gave a deep, melancholy sigh, making your shoulders sag in exaggeration.

"She'll thank me later. Guys are stupid."

That made Barry's brows raise and he opted to lay on the ground next to you.

"And why is that?" He whispered as he tried to keep a straight face.

"I found out Ryan was using me as a side chick." You stared him right in the eyes, daring him to tell you 'I told you so'. "He didn't deny it when I told him my suspicions. And here I thought I was going to get my first boyfriend."

You tried not to react to Barry's happy face fall away to show concern and what you hoped wasn't pity. His eyes searched your face, suddenly making you feel very self-conscious. What the heck, he's never made you feel that way. You didn't move though, you stayed on the floor just looking at anything but him.

He broke the silence, making your eyes jump back to him. "You think you deserve it don't you?"

You shrugged one shoulder weakly. "Eh. Not like I can do anything about it now. I know my worth and my heart has been ripped out and stomped on." The back of your eyes started to sting and a lump formed in your throat but you kept it all down.

Barry sat up, his hair standing oddly and his brows furrowed. "You are taking this surprisingly well. Last I heard you were in love with the guy."

You sat up two but turned partially away from him. "People change. He likes his two other girlfriends and I wanna be a nun." You shrugged again as you wiped your running nose. Traitor.

Barry scooted closer to you, resting a hand on your back. "But that doesn't make the pain hurt any less. Besides, you would make the worst nun. Unless they suddenly allow swearing and loud music." His voice was kind but you could hear the concern.

You snorted at that but still avoided his gaze. If you looked at him you'd fall apart. If you wanted to be completely honest with him, or even yourself, you would say that yeah, you were heartbroken but there was always someone else you liked more. Someone else you found helped you and made you feel like you were worth something. But it wasn't like you to say anything like that, especially to the man himself. Barry wouldn't understand.