Collision | ✔️ | Blue Exorcist

Revving Engines

I couldn't help it, I laughed, the sound scaring a few birds, or possibly bats. "I mean, I won't argue about it, but what makes you say that?"

His footsteps never moved out of pattern ahead of me, "I knew your life sucked even before this shit happened. And all off us at the cram school have had pretty shitty experiences, but it's pretty safe to say that you've been dealt a horrible hand."

"...okay, so what's your point?"

"I don't really have one, I guess. I just wanted you to know that I understand that you're being put through a lot. And I have to admire how you've held yourself together during it all, even now, I have no idea how you're still standing."

I cackled, a few sticks snapping as I stepped on them. "Everyone is underestimating me, I'm half demon, remember? That has to have a hand in it. And besides, you've had a rough time growing up, too."

He paused and I almost slammed into his back, "not really, I mean, my life was pretty shitty for awhile there. But," I heard him shuffle around before he came to rest somewhere in front of me. "Ever since that incident in Kyoto, things have been getting better on my part. I really don't have much to complain about anymore." I pondered his words as I leaned against a tree. "My dad and I have been getting along, and even though I wish things could go back to what they were like before the Blue Night," a small pang of guilt struck my heart, "I couldn't be any happier with my position, right now,"

"Well, you know, except for the past couple of days." I snarked and he snorted in response.

"Yeah, I agree, this is one hell of a roller coaster."

"... do you think we will make it out of here?" My own words sent daggers into my chest. The air around us taking on a darker twist.

He was silent, and after a few moments, I was about to ask if he was even awake, but he answered me before I could open my mouth. "I don't know, but I have hope that all of us will survive this."

I swallowed hard at his emphasis on the word. All of us... it never really crossed my mind that only some of us would be saved. The thought was saddening, I'd been under the assumption that we were a group, and if help never came, that'd be the end. Or the bright side, that all of us would pull through. However, the idea that only some of us would manage to make it until the next sunset... that somehow made me sadder than all of our demises. What if.... what it Yukio didn't...? I covered my mouth and swallowed hard, what would I do if I had to live without him?

Oh my god, that was a worse fate than dying. Living with the constant guilt that you made it when someone else didn't... I wracked my brain, considering who could be put into such a scenario. With horror, I realized that my own brother wasn't very high on that list. What did I prefer; for him to suffer with survivor's guilt, or to die here? I didn't want to think about that.

"You okay, Okumura?" I was startled from my thoughts and I cleared my throat.

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"No reason, you just got quiet all of a sudden." I just hummed and we sat in our silence for awhile. I listened to the chirps of crickets until he asked me a question. "So you and Moriyama, what do you plan on doing?"

My eyes bugged and I scampered to answer him, "n-nothing is going on between us, what makes you say that?" I nervously scratched the back of my head and flinched when I dug out a scab. Gross.

He laughed wholeheartedly, "You're completely transparent, Okumura. The only one who doesn't know how you feel about Moriyama, is Moriyama." My cheeks burned hot and I was thankful that it was too dark for him too see my face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I slumped down to the ground, grabbing a fistful of grass and pulling them by the roots. "Shiemi and I are just friends," my tone was firm, because it was true. To her, I was only an acquaintance; truly friend zoned.

"Then do something about it, don't wait for her to change it for you." He scoffed, "do you really expect Moriyama to confess her feelings to you? She can barely recognize a true friendship, let alone a romantic relationship."

I pulled a few more blades from the ground, "why are you telling me all of this? It's not like it will matter in these next few days."

He huffed and I heard him slam his fist into the ground, "because you need something to hold onto in times like this." I swallowed the lump that was beginning to for in my throat as he continued. "Out of all of us, you have one of the strongest willpowers. So if you give up hope, it would only be a matter of time before the rest of us fell, too." Why was it my responsibility to keep the facade up?

"What's the point of lying to everyone? I'll look like more of an idiot when the truth is finally revealed."

"That truth being death, right?" I flinched, and even though he couldn't see it, it was if he could sense it. "Why do you care what anyone thinks of you when we are standing by death's door? You know, if we all die out here, at least we left this world kicking, right?"

I realized then just how much I'd given up. Suguro sounded like me, but I sounded... distant, and ready to accept this fate. "Y-you're right, I guess I've lost my footing. Sorry for being such a downer, dude."

"Don't worry about it," he was silent for a moment, and then, "so, you gonna make a move on Moriyama?"

"Jesus Christ, man, I don't know?" I plucked one last piece of grass and wiped my hands on my pants, folding my arms over my chest. "What if she rejects me?"

"Then you tried your best, but what if she accepts?" I hummed and he chuckled lowly, "I mean, out here, things can't really get much worse. A girl rejecting you pales in comparison to what's already happened, you don't have much to lose."

"I suppose you're right, but how do you even bring something like that up? We don't exactly have a Sakura tree to stand under, and sitting next to a crowded fire when I confess is a bit... lame." I leaned my head back against the bark of the tree trunk, spotting a star through the thick branches and clouds.

He grunted, "fuck the aesthetics of it, Okumura. There's no way you'll be able to talk to her in the perfect setting, so just make do."

I sighed and nodded, "yeah, okay. Hey, we should probably stick it out here for the night. I don't feel like going any further." He hummed and I heard him get to his feet. I took one last glance at the lone star, "perfect setting..."

"Did you say something?"

"Uh, no. Just mumbling, where are we gonna sleep?"