It's been a year already since we broke up. I remembered that fateful day so vividly. She used to be my sunshine, my light, my rain. But, being the thoughtful woman that she is, since the day we broke up, and until today, she never missed the chance to check on me. She's always sending me IMs; "Good morning! Have a wonderful day.", "Lunch time, eat well!", "Good evening, hope you're feeling okay", "Goodnight..." Every day, at exact time, like clockwork I would receive the IMs. I'm missing her badly, but because of several reasons, I did not, or I was not able to reply.
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I worked at an insurance company. I am a database administrator back then. But because of being a shut-in, I was not able to make friends. So more than often, I would just hang around in social media. That's where I met her. She sent me an IM asking if I could do a program for her for a fee. After a several conference and requirement analysis, we agreed upon a contract. We have had several transactions online after that. Then, after sometime, out of the blue, she asked me if I had a girlfriend. And, making the long story short, we started dating online.
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It was almost 18 months since we started dating online, but for a weird reason, never did us met in person. Sure we hang around and do video calls, but we never had the time and idea to meet in person. But despite all that, I could say that we came to know each other. Who wouldn't? I mean we have video calls almost 24 hours a day, we are practically inseparable. But one day, I noticed that there is something wrong with her, she's not being herself. I know that for some time, she was suffering from depression, but that's all I know. She never really told me anything personal about her. I knew she lived alone just like me, but I don't know anything aside from that. Then, one day, out of the blue, she disconnected her camera, and asked to break up with me. I wanted to stop her, but I guess I could not make her reverse her only request from me... "Please, set me free."
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I was thinking these past few days to talk to her again. I mean, she's been sending messages to me these past few years, I figured maybe we could work things out again. My life has never been the same again since she's been gone. So, gathering all my strength, I sent her a message. "Hi, how are you? I'm missing you, can we talk?" I've waited, and waited, but even a "seen."... Nothing... Tomorrow came, and just like clockwork she said good morning. She never said anything aside from the usual messages. Maybe she was mad? I haven't replied to all of her messages all this time, and now I'm saying I missed her all of a sudden? I can't blame her, but I guess there is only one thing that I can do, and that is to never miss the chance to reply to her, ever again.
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I can't take this any longer, it's been a stalemate for 2 years now, I'm trying my best to make her come back, but to no avail. Maybe she found someone new? Maybe she doesn't was to be hurt anymore? Never the less, I think I have an eternal solution for my sadness, but since I don't want her to feel that I have abandoned her, I started to make an intelligent program, a program that would understand text and will be able to reply intelligently. I was a part of a learning machine and artificial intelligence project once, and I think I could design a program capable of communicating alone. So, after several months of coding, I uploaded my program. It was a success. I was thinking, now I'm ready to end this. And then one day, I jumped in front of a moving truck.
---------- Epilogue: ----------
I met this guy in a social media site. At first it was pure business... I would outsource all my unfinished project to him. I'm a solution expert in an IT company, but because of being too shy to talk to the clients, I often get behind my schedules. It's been a while now since we started going out, well, not literally. We are dating online and we haven't met in person, only in video chats. As always, I was lagging in my back jobs, and so many things were not adding up and I become depressed. I want to meet him, but I'm shy. So, I broke up with him, hoping that he would want to see me in person. But, days have passed, after saying okay to my last message, he never replied to me again. It was a stupid move to tell him I wanted freedom, that I want him to set me free. So, with the sound of defeat so imminent, I developed a plan to send him messages every day, so he would not feel neglected. I developed a script that would send him everyday greetings. I've uploaded the code and its online now, he should be getting messages every day. To celebrate my success, I grabbed a bottle of wine. And then, I remembered I need to drink the prescribed anti-depressant from my doctor. I just bought a whole bottle, exactly one hundred tablets. As I was swallowing a tablet, I think my anxiety won't fade away so I needed to drink more... the last think I know, I drank all tablets, drank 3 bottles of wine and the sound of the computer fan, slowly fading away, on a freezing room, surrounded by happy thoughts.
-= End =-
