The Uneventful Life of Harvey Mackler

c h a p t e r | s i x

"I don't get hungover."

I throw Hunter a dubious look.

"No, seriously. My body is at the peak of excellence. I don't get hungover."

"I don't get hungover," Lancer mimics in a high-pitched voice. "Just shut up, okay. Us normal people have really bad headaches and just want to ..."

I don't catch the rest of what he says because his voice reduces to a low murmur, but I could make out at least three not-so-nice words used to describe Hunter.

Hunter is however unfazed by this. Redirecting his attention to me, Hunter dumps a plate full of... something on the table in front of me.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you yesterday and not keeping the music down like we'd bargained," he recites. As an afterthought, he includes, "I also apologise for showing you another remix of Bacon Pancakes instead of taking you seriously."

From his sink, Lancer lets out a low chuckle. "It was kind of funny though..."

Holding back a retort, I look up at Hunter then down to his peace offering.

"Pleeeease?" Hunter attempts a puppy-dog pout to sway me.

"Whatever," I finally relent, accepting the fork he is offering me and taking a seat in front of the meal. "Just don't do that face again. I genuinely think I might get nightmares."

"Such a rude little child," Hunter tuts. He however looks pleased when I take a bite out of his concoction.

"Hmm," I say, surprised. "It's actually... pretty good." I take another bite. "The presentation could do with a bit of work, but overall, not bad."

"Thank you," Hunter replies. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to drive this loser home now if I want to pick Harry up by midday."

"Mm, right, the sleepover." My words come out in a bit of an indiscernible mumble due to my mouth being stuffed with food.

"Yeah, that. Haven't you been wondering why you've actually been able to sleep in?" Hunter questions whilst reaching for his keys and urging Lancer to get up.

"I was more concerned about the possibility of the house burning."

"Well, you can light a candle and open a window or something," Hunter suggests with a nonchalant shrug.

I turn my food over, picking out a piece of charred... something that Hunter had missed out. "I guess... What even is in this, anyway?"

Hunter momentarily sacrifices the arm he had been using to haul Lancer away to press a finger to his lips. "It's a family secret."

He mimes sealing his lips shut and throwing the key away, refusing to let me get a word in as he dragged Lancer and himself out the room.

It isn't until I hear the door shut that it dawns on me.

"We are family, dumbass!"

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Forty minutes later, Finn shows up.