Schizophrenic // Harry Styles

Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – Harry's P.O.V.

            Talk about a stressful last two days. Spilling everything about Gemma to Chloe was never one of my intentions, but I knew I could trust her. Not only that, but half of the things Chloe seems to say to me always remind me of Gemma. "The voices" or "they did it" and stuff like that. Gemma would always mumble to herself, she never liked loud noises, and she was always peculiar about who touched her and who spoke to her. Thus describing Chloe exactly.

            I won't say this is getting "ridiculous" because I know she can't help it, but it's getting tiring. Not in the bad kind of way where I just want Chloe gone, but it's getting exhausting when the girl you kind of have a crush on keeps trying to harm herself. She's confused, just like Gemma was, but I know I'm doing the right thing by taking her to counseling. She told me she's had it before and that she didn't like it, but promising her I'd stay with her seemed to buy her over. I don't know what it is about Chloe exactly, but she always seems to like my presence.

            Trust me, I'm not complaining.

            So here we are now after I took the day off from work, sitting in the parking lot to Prefect Counseling. After the scene in the bathroom this morning, it's easy to say that I was terrified. Chloe had ripped through her arms like it was a daily routine. 

            "You okay?" I asked softly as I glanced over at her.

            Chloe sat in the passenger seat, denim jeans covering her legs but that didn't stop her from dragging her nails down her thighs. Her chest rose and fell steadily, her eyes locked on the sign like I was taking her straight to Hell. I didn't like seeing her trying to tear up her legs, so I hesitated only for a few seconds before reaching over and taking her hands in mine. God, they're so soft. Is that weird?

            "Hey, it'll be all right. I'll be right there, okay?" Trying to soothe Chloe was a little more difficult than usual, but she slowly nodded before her eyes fell onto our locked hands. Trying to keep it from getting awkward, I gave her a smile when she looked back up at me, then (very unwillingly) pulled my hands from hers and stepped out the car.

            After opening Chloe's door for her, she stood there for a moment, looking up at the building. Keeping her eyes on the entrance, I felt her hand brush over mine before she laced out fingers. I took my own turn to look down at our sealed appendages, not being able to stop the small smile from gracing my lips. Why did this feel so right?

            I ran my thumb over her knuckles comfortingly. "I'm right here," I promised her again before she squeezed my hand. Chloe gave me another faint nod, keeping her tight grip on my hand as we started for the door.

            We stepped into the lobby, the dim lights being much more comfortable than the scorching sun outside. With my free hand, I pulled my sunglasses on top of my head before skimming for the front desk. Spotting it instantly, I looked over at Chloe to tell her I was going to sign her in. She nodded again, but it took a minute or two before she finally let go of my hand. Her eyes scanned the area before she took a seat in a far corner, farthest away from everyone else.

            The lady informed that that Chloe needed to fill out some paperwork since it was her first time here. Understandable. So, I took the clipboard with the small stack of papers and made my way over to her.

            "You've got to fill this out, love."

            Chloe looked over at me as I sat, but she pulled her knees to her chest on her chair, securely wrapping her arms around them. "Can... Can you do it for me?"

            I frowned, staring at some of the questions. "I don't know all this stuff about you, Chloe. You'll have to tell me," I said as I looked over at her.

            She nodded.

            "All right... Full name?"

            "Chloe Marie Williams."

            I nodded, the name permanently locking itself inside my brain. It's pretty, in my opinion. Her birthday is March 20th which is actually coming up in a few days. I made sure to make a mental note of that as well, accommodating the fact that she would be turning twenty. At least I wasn't too much older than her. But I also found out we share the same favorite color (blue), and that her favorite desert is cookie cake. (I also made a mental note to order that for her on her special day.)

            The next question had me hesitating on asking it out loud. But knowing I had to do it sooner or later, I quietly sputtered out, "Do you often hear voices that many people tend to be oblivious to?"

            Chloe bit her bottom lip, nodding slowly.

            I circled yes before moving on to the next multiple choice one. "Do you often feel pressured, cornered, or weak compared to these voices?"

            Another nod from the now shaking Chloe.

            There were eight more multiple choice ones before I'd be able to turn the packet in, but I really hated asking her these. She seemed so scared already and we were only moving onto the third one. She was still biting her bottom lip, still keeping her chin between her knees with her arms locked around her legs. She was nervous, it was obvious, and I hated putting her in the spotlight like this.

            After seven more, we finally got to the last one and I stopped.

            Fuck.

            I already knew the answer to this one, but I really, really didn't want to ask her it. I didn't want that kind of confirmation. I took a deep breath and said softly, "Do you often feel as if life is weighing a burden on your shoulders, therefore coming up with that theory that you would be better off..." I choked on the words, gulping before finishing, "...not living?"

            A lone tear fled Chloe's eyes as she chewed her lip more feverishly, a speck of blood forming beneath her teeth. She sucked in a shaky breath, nodding quicker than she ever had before. My heart cracked as she completely broke down, burying her face in her knees as she sobbed quietly. I raked a hand through my hair, wanting to cry along with her just because of how pitiful she truly was. However, I circled yes on the last one, noticing how all ten of them had the same answer; yes.

            Frowning, I gave the lady the packet and she nodded for me to take a seat. Chloe was still sniffling, so I didn't even hesitate when I knelt down in front of her instead of taking my seat. "Hey," I whispered gently, brushing her hair behind her ear as she slowly looked up at me. "It's all right, Chloe. You don't have to be ashamed."

            Chloe kept her lower lip between her teeth as she sucked in a breath, wiping her cheeks. "I can't... I can't help it," she choked out, the tears seeming incessant as they flooded her pink cheeks.

            "Chloe," I started quietly as I cupped her cheek with one of my hands, flicking her tears away, "don't beat yourself down over this, love. It's not your fault, all right? No one said it was. They just need to know this stuff so they can help you."

            Chloe closed her eyes, leaning into my hand as she shook her head. "They can't help me, Harry," she whispered.

            "Why do you think that?" I asked softly, running my thumb over her cheekbone. God, she was so beautiful, even in her weakest state.

            Chloe slowly opened her eyes, her brown orbs still filled with water as she looked at me. "Because no one can. They won't let anyone help me."

-

-

A/N: Sorry this was kind of short :/ I'm about to go to Walmart, though, and I really want some popcorn chicken xD I was rushing, I'm sorry ;P I'll try to update again tomorrow since it's Spring Break! <3

*VOTE. COMMENT. SHARE.* ;)