Everybody Has A Dark Side [Patrick Stump fanfic]

Chapter 10: Show Me Your Love Before The World Catches Up.

AN: I don't own Fall Out Boy, or their music. I just own Jessica and any other OC's, and my own writing.

Jessica's POV

By the time that morning had rolled around, I felt ready to begin to cover up the rare glimpses of sensitivity that I'd shown the night before when I'd sat on the couch crying on Patrick's shoulder. I couldn't really remember the last time that I'd done something like that. When I'd been with Autumn and Jason, I wasn't supposed to let my guard down at all. I wasn't supposed to show any emotion. That had been what Jason had told me, as doing so would make me weak. After hearing that multiple times over the years, it had become ingrained in my subconscious, making it insanely rare for me to show any emotions except for sarcasm and mild awkwardness. And now, fear too, I supposed. I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for Patrick, he probably hadn't been expecting to deal with an over emotional and weak girl last night but he'd taken it in his stride and had actually been rather good at comforting me.

I wasn't too sure what exactly it was that he had done last night to be quite so comforting, but when he'd held me last night, I'd felt the safest that I'd felt in a long time.

Upon having that revelation, a small sigh fell from my lips and I slowly sat up. My right hand idly raked through my now messy light brown hair, as my eyes observed the spare bedroom that Joe had taken me up to after our reunion last night. It was right next door to his, with this showing me the little faith that he had in the idea that I wouldn't run off again, but I supposed I couldn't blame him. I was known for taking off with little to no thought about how my actions might affect those around me. Things hadn't always been like that, when I was younger I wouldn't have ever really thought about running off and just abandoning everyone that I knew, but then Jason and Autumn had completely changed that.

They'd broken the innocent and sensitive girl that I used to be and morphed her into the cold, uncontrollable wreck that I'd become today and I hated it.

There was nothing that I could really do about it now though. I didn't think that it would physically be possible for me to ever have what most would consider a normal life after all that I had done. I would probably find it incredibly difficult to find a job with the little amount of qualifications that I had, and I wasn't exactly the best suited for the conventional white picket fence life. No one would ever really want to marry me, hell, I could barely even keep a relationship going for more than a year. My relationship with Luke had ended on such a sour note that I wasn't entirely sure that getting attached to someone else in such a way was a good idea.

What was the point of thinking like that?

Reminiscing over my own failures wouldn't help, at least that would be what Joe would say when he inevitably asked me whether I was all right later that day. I admittedly wasn't normally one for always having a positive outlook, which was something that I had picked up from both of my parents, and I doubted that I could suddenly just change the way that I viewed everything, but I supposed that I could try.

Coming out of my thoughts again, I slowly clambered out of the bed, the cold air soon hitting my bruised skin that was now on show due to the thin dark coloured t-shirt and pyjama shorts that I wore not exactly providing much in the way of covering me up. I supposed that I didn't exactly have much to hide anymore, Joe was aware of practically everything that had happened, and he knew about the bruises. Wrapping my arms around my middle gingerly as I didn't want to risk placing too much pressure on my bruises and risk making them worse, I gradually headed down the stairs to get myself a drink from the kitchen to try to make myself feel more awake. I made sure to make the soft padding of my feet on the stairs as quiet as possible just in case Joe wasn't fully awake yet. He was probably mad enough at me as it was, waking him up at a ridiculous time in the morning was almost definitely not a good idea right now.