How To Save You

Step Thirty-One: Anne Walker

And so time lurched on. I was grounded for a while, as a punishment of leaving the house. I kept up my studies, I emailed my brother once in awhile. But it was different. It was funny how much a few months could change you.

I was different from the overly cocky boy who compensated the lack of love in his life with a superior attitude. When I used to look in the mirror, I saw the boy who could snap his fingers and get every girl pleading for more. Now I saw the flaws in my face; the way my eyes were slightly different shades. I saw how my nostrils flared when I got mad, I saw the signs of weight loss from the loose sleeves.

I wasn't happy. But then, maybe I had never been... Happy. I had been acting that way, keeping up a facade and for who? An absent mother? A father who I barely saw? A brother who didn't care?

But it didn't need to destroy me, like it had done with Adri. I saw the similarities between us two, I saw how she had lost everything from family to friends. I couldn't let the same thing happen to me.

Fixing someone did not mean you had to destroy yourself.

I had gone straight into the shards of glass that was Adri Walker and I had cut myself wide open. Funnily enough Adri seemed to have pulled herself together, and now I was the person sitting alone at lunch.

She was still living with her father and still hadn't spoken to me. She visited the hospital but made sure she was ten minutes gone before I arrived. It was hard, and my heart seemed to be beating off rhythm.

But I was still standing. I figured this was my rock bottom, and funnily enough it cheered me up. I had screwed up so often and so much, I couldn't really do any worse to myself. Although the ground I was sitting on was jagged and gray, there was a sky of smooth blue staring up at me.

Christmas was nearing and it meant I would be visiting my mother and Gus. I wasn't looking forward to the prospect, but because I knew Ms Walkers health was declining rapidly, I was staying cheery.

I wanted to do something for Ms Walker. She had done so much for me, and I felt like I owed her something. The trouble was, I couldn't figure what to give her. I didn't want to be in England and Christmas without having left a spectacular goodbye.

I wanted to give her something so if she passed whilst I left... She would have a good death (if there even was such a thing).

***

It was a ridiculous idea. I knew it was. The very thing was borderline offensive, and Adri would despise me. But if it worked... Then I would make Ms Walker incredibly happy.

I pushed in the USB stick and opened the file.

"I really shouldn't be here." Adri said tauntly, her eyes narrowed at me.

I ignored her and so did Ms Walker. She was propped up against some pillows, her face the same color as the ghastly white. I tried to focus on her smile instead, tried to see past the disease.

The projector I had borrowed (stolen) from school shone a bright picture on the wall. It was Ms. Walker, of course. But it was a photograph of her as a younger woman, with a big pregnant belly. She had a huge smile on her face, her light brown hair waving to her shoulders.

Below the photo stood: The Life of Ms Anne Justine Walker

Everyone frowned at me, but it refused to acknowledge them. Instead I looked at Ms Walkers deep blue eyes, and I allowed myself to find comfort in then. Her eyes were strikingly similar to Adri's, but her eyes were not wild raging oceans. They were closer to a calm smooth water which sparkled in sunlight.

"Ms Walker was born in 1972," I said and then moved the projector on.

Now there was a smiling baby cuddling with an older sibling. You could recognize that is was her by the shape and shade of her eyes- it seemed to be a Walker family trait.