⋆Quotes and feelings⋆ {completed} ✔️

Im so done

I'm crying my heart out
This is too much pain

I FUCKING HURT YOU .. I ALWAYS DO
and Justin thinks I do it on purpose.. so does everyone
I don't Fucking do it because I want to
Depression is not a choice I chosen

He thinks I don't think about other people around me
That they are human too

I DO FUCKING CARE THAT'S WHY IM LIKE THIS

I FUCKING CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING AND OVER THINK ABOUT IT

I OWN A HEART TOO .. AND IT HURTS .. IT KILLS ME WHEN HE .. AND OTHERS TELL ME ALL THAT .. BUT MOSTLY.. IT HURTS WHEN I SEE YOU LIKE THIS

SAD ..

AND ITS BECAUSE OF ME !!

IM WORTHLESS I KNOW
IM USELESS I KNOW
IM FUCKED UP I KNOW
IM A DISAPPOINTMENT I KNOW
IM A MISTAKE I SHOULD NEVER BORN I KNOW
I DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD I KNOW

You do t need to tell me ..because *chuckles whipping a tear* .. because I am all those

you just don't see me the way I see myself
If you did .. you'd fall apart

I hate myself As much as you hate the word depression

I don't need your help
I don't need you to tell me everything will be okay .. IT WILL NOT
I don't need you to tell me to be strong
I don't need you to tell me to be patient
I don't need you to tell me to look at the positives
I don't need you to tell me what you always say
I'm a bad influence on you .. and others

I just want you to understand my situation
And it does not need you to be depressed to get me

But I guess I won't get that
Just like you don't get the fact that
When you're depressed your thoughts controls you .. you don't control them

I should not be here .. that's what goes round and round in my head now .. it always been there .. but this time is different

So please forgive me ..

I was and still in pain
I never meant to ruin what we had

I never meant to vanish the smile on your face every time you talked with me
I never meant to stop entertaining people

I never wanted to be depressed

It hurts me even more when I see you taking a pissed sigh at me
And just not understand me

I know now you wanna yell your lungs out at me
And tell me that I'm doing the wrong things
And show me the right road

But I can't help it
It's harder then you could ever imagine in your whole 16 years

I'm curious
I'm confused
I'm numb
I'm unaware of my actions
I'm just .. just trying to at least survive ..