Nothing Else Matters

Chapter 7

I was completely mute; I didn't know how to express my thoughts here. I mean, having a crush on me is one thing, but he was actually in love with me? I did not see that one coming, that's for sure. But really though, how do you react to something like that? Sooner or later he would need an answer for this, I had to say something. "That's... greeeaat", I lied, probably the worst possible thing I could have come up with. He just glared at me, probably thinking that I was some kind of braindead 4 year old. If I was lucky, this was enough to make him stop loving me. "You know what, Jason?", he asked me. No, but you don't have to tell me either. "I really put some effort into making you like me better, but you're just acting like you didn't even care to begin with. And if that's the case..." He looked down at the ground, and tears were forming in his eyes. I was starting to think that this wasn't a joke after all. He did actually care. He took a pause before he continued: "And if that's the case, I don't think I even like you anymore". With that, he turned and started walking away from me. I honestly thought it would feel better to hear him say that, but it didn't. It felt horrible. I had let him down, and I was that one person who made him happy. Not anymore though. Even though I hated him before, these last few days, he had proven that it was more to him than just bullying and name-calling, and maybe, just maybe, I had actually started liking him, just a little. But it was too late for that now.

As I watched James walk away, I just stood there, regretting everything. That single line: "That's... greeeaat". If only I hadn't said that, he wouldn't have been thinking of me like some selfish jerk that had no heart or soul. I wish I could take it back, replace it with something a little more thought through. Like, really? That was the best thing I came up with as I stood there? I don't know, maybe I panicked a little, but... But, I could just run after him. "James!", I yelled, as I started running. I was going to tell him that I didn't mean it, but I had no idea what came after that. "James!" He stopped, and turned around, so that I could catch up. "J-James...", I panted, "I-I didn't mean that, what I said". He threw his arms up, and just looked at the pathetic wreck in front of him. "Mean what?", he asked, having no clue about what the hell I was rambling on about. "When I said that it was great in that ironic tone?", I said, "You did hear that, right? I didn't mean it". He just gave me a confused look. "What? No, I don't care about that", he said. "Then why did you go?", I asked. The roles had changed, now I was the confused one. "Well, no, that's not completely right, I did care about what you said, but that was just 'it', if you understand". No, I don't, please explain it to me. "You know, ever since I took you out at night, you've been acting so strange, you're like a totally different person, and it's like you hate me or something". But I did hate him. I used to hate him. But I didn't realize that it bothered him, or if he even noticed. I hadn't even paid attention to how much I was changing. He was right, I treated him like shit. Maybe I was the bad guy... I'm starting to believe that the story about Ron McGovney is a fake after all. "I don't hate you", I said, this time not lying, "And I'm sorry, you're right, I'll start acting like a better person, and I'll make it up to you". For once, I was telling the truth. I would start acting better, and I would make it up to him, that's a promise. "Really?", he asked, and I nodded. He smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate that", he said, giving me a bump on the arm. "Come on", I laughed, "You're better than that". I opened my arms to him, and we hugged. That's the first time I actually enjoyed it.