Nothing Else Matters

Chapter 5

I explained the entire thing to Kirk and Lars, and their response was to look at eachother, then look back at me. "He's in love with you, goddamnit", Kirk said, as if it was obvious. "Yeah", Lars agreed, "He wouldn't have done all that ‪at two A.M.‬ for just anybody, you know", he added. I sighed. "Why me, though?", I asked them, as if they were the experts, which they kind of were, since I didn't really know any other gay people besides them. Kirk looked at Lars with a smile, then at me. "Don't you understand?", he laughed, "That's what people do". I'm not sure I'm quite following here. "U-huh", Lars added, "He's been pushing you around, and just because he had a crush on you". I highly doubt that. Yeah, that is what people do, in kindergarten. Kirk laughed. "You know, it might sound kind of weird, but James is like that". OK, this was getting to the point where it was all rubbish. Let me see if I've got it right here: James is bullying me, then he asks me about what to do with his crush, then he drags me outside at night, puts his arms around me, and now suddenly I was the crush he was talking about? What? Was James really that childish? Was he too scared to just tell me or ask me out? He really had to fucking pick on me? Was that supposed to make me see that he had a fucking crush on me!? What kind of fucking incompetent asshole does that!? I sighed. All I could do was to dump down on the bed next to Kirk. "What am I gonna do now?", I asked him, "Is he still gonna make me feel like shit every day, or is hugging his new thing now?" Kirk looked at me with a concerned expression. "Look, I don't know, man", he said, "All I know is that he's definitely treating you better than Ron McGovney". I sighed once again. "You don't even know if that story's true", I barked at him. I was kind of in a bad mood right now; it shouldn't turn into a habit to just snap at your friends like that. Kirk looked at Lars, who answered with a shrug. "It is", he simply said, "I was there, and it was terrible to watch". I looked at him, waiting for the whole story.

OK, so this is what he told us:

Apparently it all started when Ron came into the band. He had been practicing his bass when James entered the room, and started complaining about that he didn't play the songs right. Actually, if it's true, it wouldn't have been such a big deal, since at the time, Metallica didn't have any songs yet. But anyway, he was complaining, but Ron insisted on that it was right, something that apparently pissed James off, and pushed Ron against the wall. Lars said that at first, he tried fighting back, but James was much stronger, and it ended with Ron passing out on the floor, full of bruises and a bloody nose. After that, it all got worse. They would fight almost every day, and Lars would find Ron in a puddle of puke the day after, because James had hit him so hard in the stomach.

After hearing that, I didn't know what to believe anymore. What if James started doing that to me too? I didn't want to end up in a puddle of puke. But for some reason, he was being nice to me, and I decided to just enjoy it while it lasted, because Kirk said that it might not be for long. I had so much to think about right now... I wish I could've just asked James if the story was true or not, but either way someone would get in trouble. If it was true, Lars would be his next offer, and if it wasn't, I would be a dead man for believing such nonsense about him. I actually hope that he has a crush on me, because in that case, I wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt.