Life Is Not What It Seems//Phan

5: Flashback

  *Trigger Warning* just for anyone who might be affected by cutting or the mention of self -harm wounds/scars.

  [Dan  pov]    

I woke up to my alarm beeping the tune of 'I write sins not tragedies'. I groaned, I'm way to tired to even try to get up for school but I didn't really have a choice. I rolled out of bed and onto the floor causing a loud thump to be heard, I shook of the pain and turned pressing the dismiss button on my alarm clock.

I groggily walked over to the other side of my room and grabbed my uniform off of the floor where I had left it yesterday. I left my room and grabbed a towl from the cupboard before entering the bathroom closing and locking the door behind me. I placed my uniform on the counter along with my towel and pulled off my Spiderman pyjamas throwing them at the washing basket then climbed into the shower.

The cold water hit my skin startling me but it soon warmed up and I relaxed, I felt a stinging pain on my wrists as the water hit my self inflicted wounds but I ignored it and did what I had to then climbed out of the shower and put on my uniform.

I sighed in the mirror as I finished straightening my hair, I unlocked the bathroom and went to my room. I picked up my phone, bag and a plain black hoodie. I ran downstairs put on my shoes then left for school.
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I wish we didn't have to maths, it is  literally hell for 45 minutes or what feels like hours when you're so bored. I thought to myself whilst trying to fight the urge to jump out of the nearest window. I looked towards the clock then back to my half finished equation, I can't be bothered doing this for another 5 minutes. I raised my arm cautiously, thoughts racing through my head.

What if  she thinks your trying to get out of class on purpose,
what if she won't let me leave,
what am I gonna say to actually get out of here,
Come on Dan
Think for fucks sake

But before I knew it the middle aged women was walking her way over to my desk, I lowered my hand anxiously. "What's wrong, Daniel?" she spoke, her voice full of concern. I mean I would probably be concerned too if the student that never talks and sits in the back of the class to avoid people randomly raised their hand for the first time in that specific class.

"I-I feel sick" I blurted out nervously, I mean it's not like I was lying I do feel kinda sick from over thinking the most simplistic things. She nodded her head gesturing to my bag and hoodie and then the door before returning to her desk at the front of the classroom. I grabbed my things then headed out of the classroom towards the toilets.

As walking down the hallway I felt a sudden overwhelming fear and sadness when I remembered that day I met Phil

<<<<<<Flashback>>>>>>>

I walked through the hallways head down I felt the tears start to form in my eyes, then I felt hands on my back as someone pushed me, I dropped my textbook on the cold ground, I bent over to pick it up but instead was pushed to the floor, I caught myself thankfully. Hearing a chuckle from behind me then a someone yell " Hey! Watch where you're going Gaylord!" I felt a tear stream down my cheek. I can't take this anymore.

I wiped it away getting up textbook in hand .  As soon as I had the courage to get up from the floor I headed towards the bathroom, I tried to avoid the random stares of strangers as I hurriedly walked in the direction of the boys toilet, as soon as I placed my hand on the door I had a feeling of safety, and yes I know that sounds really weird but I guess I felt safe because no one actually used this bathroom and it was kind of dark and abandoned looking - becuase the schools to lazy to fix it up - which is probably why no one used it. I slowly pushed the door open hearing the nostalgic creaking from coming in many times before to hide from many people.

As I closed the door behind me I just let all my emotions spill out, leaned against the nearest sink looking myself in the mirror, all I could hear was all the voices in my head yelling every hurtful thing I thought about my self . I pulled a note out of my pocket that I had written in music, it was half of a song that I wrote for a project, I wrote it about the stuff that goes on in my head. I read it in my head tears staining the random words

I scrunched up the piece of paper and tossed it at the bin, "You're such a fuck up d-", I was cut off by a a loud sound from behind me making me jump fifty feet in the air, I turned rapidly towards the sound to see a person lying on the floor, they had dark black hair and very pail skin. I panicked as a million thoughts flashed through my head.

Am I gonna die
Did he hear what just happened
What if he's come to erase my mind about aliens
Is he dead
Oh my God
What do I do if he's dead
I'm gonna get arrested

I walked causiosly towards the person lying on the floor, as I got closer I realised the blood dripping from his nose and the dark purple ring around his eye and the few blood stains on his shirt, I froze before realizing what I should do and it took my full courage.

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I came back to reality after hearing the Bell for lunch start as lots of people pushed passed me on there way to go eat some weird school food.