The Wedding Planner / The Flash AU || HIATUS

01

I snapped my eyes open and shot up in my bed. I looked around my surroundings and sighed, falling back down onto the bed. This dream was very reoccurring and I would have it every night before I had to be at the wedding I had planned.

It was crazy to think that just six years ago, I was the one in those girls' shoes. I was the one who was supposed to get married, but instead I was left at the altar. It really makes you think differently about relationships, and really puts a damper on your trust issues.

Aside from him breaking my heart, the worst part was that I had spent all of this money on this wedding to make sure it was perfect. I had spent all of the time with him to make this wedding something to remember and to tell our children, and what does he do? Leave me at the altar.

That is why I refuse to get married again, or even date really considering I've sworn off marriage. I guess I'll just be single forever. I don't need to be in another relationship where they could become scared and leave me. I don't need that happening to me twice.

Although it may seem that I have a hatred for weddings since mine went so terribly and awfully wrong; I really don't. I will always love being at a wedding. Everything about weddings is beautiful. I love seeing the happy couples who are truly in love say 'I do' to each other, but I just don't believe I will ever find that happy ending.

Being left at the altar really changed me. It changed the way I see things now and how I do things. I feel I am truly a better person and I guess I have Kaleb to thank for that, but I also have him to thank for my constant trust issues. Anytime I become close to gaining feelings for anyone I just picture Kaleb telling me how he wasn't ready to marry me.

I know that not all relationships will end up with marriage, but I feel like I am coming to that age where if we aren't dating because we are planning to marry in the future, then what are we dating for? I don't want to date just to pass time. I want to find someone to be with for the rest of my life. I want to wake up every morning to the love of my life and make breakfast for him. I want to save up to buy our own house together, maybe even get a puppy to prepare us for children and when we are ready, have a child and create a family. I want to be in that point of my life where I can have that.

Or at least, I used to. That's not really something I am looking for nowadays. Now, I just sit in my living room watching Netflix with my cat on my lap...that is if I'm not stuck at the office up all night planning weddings. Maybe my life is better off not having someone else to rely on. Maybe I'm better off being independent.

Or maybe I'm just better off telling myself that.

**

Today was the day. After waiting for so long and planning this entire wedding, the day has finally come. The venue was absolutely beautiful. Originally, they both wanted something small and in a church, but the grooms mother wanted something much bigger. I know from experience how hard it is to try and please both the bride and the in-laws, so I suggested another idea and hoped they would compromise. I suggested the wedding be in a garden. It wasn't extremely big and it wasn't too private either. They both had agreed with my idea and I was thrilled.

The wedding area itself was in the field, with an arch that was covered in flowers and vines, adding to that garden vibe. There were beautiful centerpieces with a bouquet or chrysanthemums sitting on top of tall white columns down the aisle. White rose pedals were placed along the grass to create an aisle for the bride to walk down. There was white tulle wrapped around the columns and connected to each column, hanging slightly low and sets of white chairs on each side. I was so happy with how beautiful it turned out to be.

Everything was going well. All of the guests had arrived, the groom wasn't missing (there were some cases where the groom ended up getting cold feet, but they usually came back), all of the flowers I had ordered were there and everything for the reception was set.