Things to Remember

Heartbreak.

While we’re at it, we might as well mention a few things that won’t help. Like getting angry (or desperate) and trying to hurt yourself or someone else, drinking or taking drugs to feel better or become numb, or locking yourself up in a dark room.

Sometimes, though, the sadness is so deep – or lasts so long – that a person may need some extra support to deal with a broken heart. For someone who is not starting to feel better after a few weeks or who continues to experience signs of depression, talking to a psychologist or other mental health professional can be very helpful.

So, be patient with yourself – and let the healing begin.

The Rebound

AKA the Revenge Shag, The Beer Goggle Relationship or the Love That Knows No Shame, this is a familiar pick-me-up situation. People slag off rebound relationships but they can sometimes do wonders for your self esteem. Most of the time, you know this new relationship won’t last anyway and hey, it’s a damn sight better than sitting at home trying to call your ex for the 100th time. At the very least, you’ll learn about what you don’t want in a new guy.

Rituals, schmituals

Don’t suppress the urge to burn and/or discard of things if feel you need to do so. Any reminders of happier times should be placed in a box and locked away till you know for sure what you want to do with them. If you’re angry, this is actually a good thing. Burn them! Make a huge bonfire and spit into it. Perform an ancient dance of joy that you finally got rid of That Bastard. Now isn’t the time to be nice, it’s time to be tough and bring out all the big, bad memories.

Drunk dialing

This one’s actually something you shouldn’t do. A good method is to entrust your mobile to your best friend…unless she’s actually the one who broke up your relationship. In which case you’ll want to bash her on the head with your phone (make sure you have a lawyer handy!). One way to stay on top of the game is to erase your ex’s number from the address book. Or failing that, just don’t take your cellphone with you if you’re aiming for a big night out. Trust me, the last thing you want to do is be talking to the man you still love after a few too many tequila shots. It’s not pretty and you can be sure he’ll be laughing about it with his mates the next day.

Learn something new

An old faithful is to pick up a new hobby or some such. Okay, okay…I know, it’s hard to peel yourself off that couch and do something, but you’ll be glad for it. All that frustration and sorrow needs to go somewhere so channel your extra energy into a positive activity such as volunteer work or poetry readings.

Staying mates with the louse

A little perspective is needed here. You can’t be friends with someone you’ve just dated, obviously, but given time, a phoenix might rise from the ashes of a failed relationship. Just make sure you’re trying the “friendship thing” for a good reason and not because you want the guy back. If you want them back, then you’re not friends…you’re just into self-torture.

Bring out the big bad memories

You’re allowed to be mad. He left you, didn’t he? He broke a whole bunch of promises, didn’t he? He made you believe he was gonna stick around and love you, but didn’t. Now is the time to trot out all the arguments you’ve ever had. What about the time when he left you watching TV with his parents while he went to the pub? Or how he made you cry when you were sick? Or the annoying way he chews his food? So many things to dislike, and so little to love… no wonder you’re better off without him!