letters to my soulmate

chapter 6

i am 16.

And i think im gay.

I was beat up again today, it happens often. Because another boy in my grade said i was staring at him in the locker room, and he told me i was going to hell, which is something i've heard before.

But i was staring, i was staring at his abs.

And i was thinking about how attractive he was.

And i was scared.

I don't know how, or why. I go to a good church. I've heard countless times from countless people that being gay is a sin.

Being gay is wrong.

Than why do i feel like it's who i am? Why have i been teased about liking boys since before i even knew that liking boys was an option?

But you, your a girl.

Aren't you?

I need to know, i can't be gay because your a girl. If i can prove your a girl, i don't need to be scared anymore, because if youre a girl, i'm not gay.

Right?

I don't know how to ask, i grab a fine tip sharpie and stare at my arm for what feels like hours before an idea comes to mind.

On the underside of my arm, where you haven't drawn any of the flowers that cover the top part of my arm today, i draw a small, messy, picture of a boy.

Beside it i write ''ME'.

And you draw a picture beside it, a beautifully drawn photo of a boy with sea blue eyes and black hair.

And you write something beside it too.

You write 'ME'.

You're a boy.

And i'm gay.