Wow.. medyo nakalimutan ko si Andreau ha. Siguro effective ang prayer ko na wag niyang iinvade ang thoughts ko for a month. Matagal-tagal ding dasal yun ah. Nakakainis kasi, palaging nagpe-play sa utak ko yung Scheherazade niya! Ang hirap magconcentrate!
Hindi ko masyadong nakita si Andreau sa campus after that run in. Busy sa acads at teleserye si Big Boss last month. Actually, kakatapos lang ng teleserye nila ni Sarah last night! As usual, nagkatuluyan silang dalawa sa huli. So predictable.
And as expected, wala na namang date si Andreau nung charity ball last month. Kaso.. ang nakakagulat.. hindi niya niyaya si Sarah na maging date niya. Single na si atey prior the charity ball! No wonder nagresurface ang gay issue last month. Hay.
Nagkwento si Ms. Marisse tungkol sa trip nila habang naglalagay kami ng décor sa 9ft tall nilang Christmas tree. Ganito pala pag mayayaman, ano? Lahat na lang ng binibiling bagay kailangan malaki! Sakto lang ang excitement ko sa Christmas. Hindi naman kami masyadong pala-celebrate ng holidays eh. Una, wala si Mima dito. Pangalawa, wala kaming permanent na bahay. Why bother?
Kaya nang sabihin ko kay Ms. Marisse na nasa dorm lang ako this sembreak at Christmas, nalungkot siya.
“Join us this Christmas!” she exclaimed eagerly. “Dito lang kami sa condo every Christmas eh. Kami-kami lang naman nina Andreau at Tristan ang nandito. Well.. some friends drop by pero after na ng Christmas Eve yun.” Sensing my hesitation, she pressed on. “Come on, it’ll be fun! I could be a very entertaining drunk!”
“Uhh..” Shit, ang hirap naman nito. I really want to say yes kaso.. nakakahiya, di ba? For me sobrang intimate ng Noche Buena, and being invited to theirs is kinda.. I don’t know.. too much? Kasi medyo stranger ako sa kanila?
“Sige ka.. hahanapin ka ni Tristan. He already bought a gift for you,” Ms. Marisse singsonged. What? Ano ba yan.. blackmail pa si Tristan! Naalala ko tuloy yung picture ni Tristan sa kwarto niya. He’s too cute in his Little Reindeer costume! Aaahhh!!
“Sige po,” I finally gave in. Her mega-watt smile almost blinded me. “Pero tatanungin ko po muna sina Nana, okay lang po ba? Baka po kasi pauwiin nila ako eh.”
“It’s okay! Basta kahit 24 or 25 andito ka, it’s up to you. Magpakita ka lang kay Tristan.. I’m sure matutuwa yun!”Awww.. sobrang napalapit na sa’kin si Tristan kahit three months pa lang kaming magkakilala. Sayang, gusto ko sana siyang kurutin sa pisngi ngayon kaso tulog na tulog ito sa kwarto niya.
Kaso.. gusto ko ring magPasko sa San Ignacio. Kakausapin ko nga si Mima mamaya para maliwanagan ako!
“Sana nga lang walang work si Andreau that day,” biglang sabi ni Ms. Marisse habang umaakyat siya sa steel ladder para ilagay ang star sa Christmas tree. “Last year kasi kaming dalawa lang ni Tristan dito. He was so sad.”
Silang dalawa lang? Out of curiosity, I asked, “Hindi po ba umuuwi ang parents ni Andreau pag Christmas?”
Natigilan si Ms. Marisse sa paglalagay ng star sa Christmas tree. I swear I saw sadness in her eyes, but her solemn smile immediately brushed it off. Triple shit, Zade. Invasion of privacy! Ano ba yang mga tanong mo!
“Naku sorry po! I didn’t mean to pry,” I babbled, not looking at her. Nakakahiya! Baka mamaya i-uninvite ako nito!
Nginitian lang niya ako kaso obvious sa mga mata niya ang.. why is she sad? “So.. you weren’t kidding about the TV thing, huh,” Ha? Ano raw? “I mean.. you told me you don’t watch television that much.”
Nanlamig ako sa sobrang hiya. “Oh god I’m so sorry. I didn’t know na sensiti—“
“No, it’s okay,” she shook her head, still smiling. “I was just shocked. It’s been a while since someone asked about that.”
Oh my god.. did I just land on an emotional landmine? Wala naman akong matandaan na chismis about Andreau’s parents. Wala ring sinabi si Kesh about them. What’s going on? Divorced ba sila? Or anak ba sa labas si Andreau ng isang politician?
My questions stopped when Ms. Marisse answered them.
”Andreau’s parents passed away nine years ago, Zade.”
xxxx
Sinubukan kong magreview kinagabihan kaso.. hindi ko pa rin matanggal sa isip ko yung kwento ni Ms. Marisse.
It was a car crash somewhere in Arizona. Sinamahan ni Ate Lianne, my sister, si Victor para magshoot ng something. You see, Andreau’s father was a cinematographer. My sister was.. was a scriptwriter. Nasa dugo na talaga namin ang media, I guess.
You know what.. I couldn’t forget that day. I was just 26 years old, kakakuha lang sa’kin ng network para maging host ng isang talk show. Nasa bar kami ng friends ko nun, planning to get wasted when I received a call from their roommate. Dead on arrival lang ang nagregister sa utak ko that night. Siguro dahil sa alcohol or something.
Si Andreau ang una akong naisip that time. Close na close kaming dalawa niyan. Pinilit kong umuwi kahit medyo buzzed ako nun. He was sleeping when I got back in their house. Uuwi na dapat sila that week. Pwede ngang episode sa drama yung ginawa ko that night. I cried in front of Andreau’s door all night. How can you even tell an 11-year old about his parents’ death? I wasn’t prepared. I was just.. 26. College kami ni Ate Lianne nung namatay ang parents namin so we were able to compartmentalize it. He’s just 11 that time, Zade. I didn’t know how to break it to him.
Naabutan niya ako sa labas ng pinto niya the next morning and I told him the truth. Iyakin si Andreau nung bata siya,pero once lang niyang iniyakan sina Ate. I couldn’t blame him, ayaw talaga ni Ate ng drama. That was the first and last time I saw Andreau cry for real.
Last night was.. the 9th death anniversary of his parents. Bumisita kami sa puntod kahapon ng umaga.. I don’t know kung saan siya pumunta after, Maybe he studied for his finals or may cast party sila. Lagi siyang nawawala after naming bumisita kina Ate. Never asked him about it, anyway. We all have our ways to manage grief, and I respect that.
Natakot na akong magtanong pa after niyang magkwento. I know it’s wrong pero naawa ako kay Andreau. Akala ko.. normal lang siya. Normal in a sense na kagaya siya ng iba na gustong maiahon sa hirap ang family or bored sa buhay kaya pumasok sa showbiz. I’ve always pegged him as the academic type. Nung una ko siyang nakita.. hindi talaga ako convinced kung bakit siya nag-artista.
Now I understand why.
He’s doing this for his parents.
Lalong lumalim ang respeto ko sa kanya. He has something to live for. Ngayon.. gusto kong malaman kung ano ba talagang nararamdaman niya. Malungkot ba siya? Namimiss ba niya ang parents niya? Is he handling this well? Saan siya pumupunta after ng visit nila? Iniiyakan pa rin ba niya ang parents niya?
God, Zade. This is absurd. As if masasagot ni Andreau yang mga tanong mo.
Who am I, anyway?
[10] Unscripted
Start from the beginning
