I'd Live For You, If Only I Could (Completed)

Sixteen

Weeks pass, and the days go from long to longer. I rarely see daylight, as the hours lessen due to the deep winter setting in. I sleep through the daylight hours most days and wake up to see endless darkness outside of my window, sometimes slightly illuminated from the piling snow. People visit me all the time, so loneliness isn't a problem. Scott comes every day, no matter the weather, time, or day, with something new to decorate my room. A table across from my bed is filled with pictures and flowers and balloons and even a collecting pile of Beanie Babies. My laptop and a pile of books and movie cases is always within arms reach. No day is good, but naturally some are worse than others. Today is a "good" day. I am in the middle of watching Stranger Things when Scott walks in, knocking once on the doorframe before barging in, arms full of boxes, a bouquet of yellow, white, and red roses, and an exceptionally large teddy bear.

"Morning, Mitch." he says, struggling to carry the bundle in. He drops the bear on my legs and takes the other two things over to the overflowing table. "Um, I'm just gonna..." He pushes some things around and replaces the old flowers with the new ones in the vase.

"I missed you." I say, reaching toward him with arms open. He rushes over and doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms tightly around me, lingering for a second before pressing his lips lightly to my cheek.

"I always miss you. School's not as tolerable without you."

"I would come back in a heartbeat."

"I know you would. But you're better off staying here where they can help you."

"I know that, but I hate it so much."

"Well, you'll be out of here in no time. And you'll come back to school. You're gonna have a hell of a lot to catch up on." I don't even bother to contradict him; I just nod and let go so he can move back and sit where we can properly see each other.

"I need to ask you something." I take his hand and trace over his bones gently.

"Ask away." His voice is quiet, subdued, as though he is waiting for the deepest question of his life. He is watching my movements carefully.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I want to stay with you." His answer is immediate, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, I mean, like, if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

"I would take you someplace. Where do you want to go?"

"That's not the question. Come on, everybody has a place they've fantacized of going, someplace that seems unreachable until it's not. What's yours?" He sighs and stares past me, seeming to ponder the question with deep thought.

"I think...I've wanted to go to Venice for as long as I can remember."

"Venice, Italy?"

"Yeah. It's kind of a personal thing, the reason I want to go there, but I think if I could pick anyplace in the whole world, I would go to Venice."

"Why?"

"That's where my dad is. I mean, you know, he died there. So it's like it still has a piece of him there. My mom refuses to ever go there again, because she saw him die there, but I wasn't there. I feel like if I go, I could get him back, in a sense. That probably sounds stupid." He shakes his head, smiling nervously.

"No, not stupid. It makes sense."

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason." I say, shrugging.

"That means nothing. Why did you ask, Mitch?"

"Because."

"Come on."

"What?" I ask innocently, smiling to myself as a long plan begins to put itself together in my head.

****

After Scott leaves, my mom comes in. Before she even gets the chance to say anything, I ask her to go find Dr. Jayne and bring her in. She does it without question, coming back with my frazzled doctor a few minutes later.

"Everything okay, Mitch? Anything wrong?"

"Sorry, were you in the middle of something?"

"Not specifically. What can I do for you?"

"I need to talk to you about something. Mom, do you mind leaving for a few?"

"Um...sure. I'll be right outside if you need anything."

"Thanks, I love you."

"I love you, too." She closes the door and Dr. Jayne looks at me suspiciously.

"Being secretive from your mom, huh? What's this about?"

"Am I still viable to use my Wish?"

"Of course you are. The only thing is, in your current state-"

"Just let me finish. Give me details after."

"Alright."

"You've seen Scott come in and out."

"Frequently, yes."

"And I've told you he's my boyfriend, right?"

"You have."

"Okay. Well, I found out from him that he wants to go to Venice. He's probably not gonna be able to go without some funding help. Am I allowed to use my Wish to send someone else somewhere?" She raises a skeptical eyebrow.

"I honestly don't know. Are you sure you want to do that?"

"How long do I have left to live?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, I do."

"Probably a couple of months at the longest."

"What I was thinking was, what if he's in Venice when I die so that he doesn't have to be here when it happens?"

"Woah, slow down. Don't you think that's a little harsh, to send your boyfriend to Europe so he's not here when you pass away? Wouldn't you think he would want to be with you in your last moments?"

"He was here when his dad passed away, and now he wants to go to Venice to find closure. I want him to be away so he doesn't associate his home with bad things, like seeing me die in front of him. I want him to associate it with pieces of me so that he has something to hold onto, the way he is with his dad." Dr. Jayne is quiet for a few long moments.

"Is this really what you want?"

"Yes. I feel really strongly about this. Can we make it happen?" I bite my lip while she purses her own, before the corners of her mouth turn just slightly upward and she shakes her head.

"You're an exceptional kid, Mitch. I'll try to make it happen."

****