Arranged To Him #Wattys2017

Thirty Three

I took in a shaky breath and closed my eyes as he leaned down to press his lips to my cheek. He held them there as he moved his hands around my waist and tugged me to him in a bone-crushing hug. I took in a breath as I realized what he was doing.

He was saying goodnight.

Despite the fact that I told him no...he was still doing it. 

"Harry," I whispered, placing my hands on his arms, "let me go. Please."

He shook his head as he buried his face into my neck, "no. I can't. I need to know that my chances with you aren't lost."

"They're not," I sighed, "they're just...fragile? I guess."

He tightened his embrace, "I don't care."

I sighed.

He was more childish than Peter.

"Harry," I tried again, "you must let me go. In order for me to move past this, I need time to think about things by myself. With you here, I'll just come right back to you."

He pulled his head back to look at me with tearful eyes, "then do so; come back to me. Please, Ellie. We can work on this together."

I sighed and placed a hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. I found myself doing the very thing that I told myself not to do. I was being nice to him. I couldn't help it. 

"Give me time," I said. He frowned and shook his head.

"Harry, if you really love me enough, you'll give me the time I need," I begged. He whimpered and sniffled a bit before he sighed and nodded. He reached over and placed his lips against my forehead and pulled back.

"I love you." he sniffled, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are," I replied, "I just need some time to myself. I need to figure out how I'm going to go about moving past this. It's not easy, Harry. How drunk were you?" 

"I don't know," he mumbled, looking down. I stepped back and walked around him to my bed. Sitting down on it, I sighed and looked up to him. He stood there, fiddling with his thumbs and staring at me with a worried look.

"I don't want you to hate me," he whimpered. I sighed and gazed at him. His eyes were wide and pleading and he looked genuinely frightened as he spoke. Tears were brewing in his eyes and he hastily wiped them away, looking down before he hiccuped and brought his gaze back to me. 

"I don't think I could ever hate you. Not for long at least," I replied. We chuckled at that and it became silent again. 

"I kicked Valentina out of the castle," he murmured. I looked at him.

"If you hadn't been caught, would you have kicked her out?" I asked. 

"Yes," he replied, "when I woke up, all I wanted to do was throw up. I used my loneliness to think before I could use my logic and I hurt the both of us. I wouldn't have let her stay after that. I'd be a madman if I did."

"It's funny, this situation somehow reminds me of my own relationship with my mother. I don't deserve her. She's always there to support me, help me and keep me on my two feet but I keep turning her away and pushing her out the minute she annoys me. Yet, she's still there. I never truly realized how much I needed her until she left me here alone. Just like that, you didn't realize how bad your actions were until Valentina had them out in the open," I explained. He nodded and looked down. I gave him a weak smile and stood up to walk towards him.

"Which is why," I said, "I'm going to give you one more chance."

His eyes brightened and he stepped towards me but I stuck a hand up to stop him.