RESTRAINED • Oikawa Tooru x Reader •

Chapter 6

You quickly scroll through the email addresses you have on your email. When was the last time you had a proper conversation with your father? Last month? Last year? You can no longer remember.

It took you a few more clicks before landing on a familiar username. Your scowl grew bigger as you saw his avatar with a green 'online' button on the upper right portion.

You no longer know his whereabouts - at least you know he's now in US and that's for sure. He is a famous surgeon and a researcher. Your mother, on the other hand, was a research nurse.

They fell in love for each other and a year after their marriage, they had their first child - (F/n).

It was a happy family. You remember your parents walking you to a nearby park every Sunday. You remember how your father will carry to his arms you every time you dash towards him. It was picture perfect .

Or so you thought.

You're too young to understand everytime you hear them fight when they thought you're asleep. And every morning, when your mother will wake you up to go to school, eyes bloodshot, you can't help but to hate him - and hate yourself for doing so.

As you grow older, reality finally came to hit you hard on the face. They've been to constant fights almost every night - whether its about money, attention or your father's mistress. He would sometimes hit your mother, and all you can do was to watch and clutch your favorite toy like your dear life.

They got divorced years after and you're totally fine with that because she raised you well.

What you hated most about him was the fact that he let you - an elementary school girl, take care of your sick mother alone even after you beg him for the nth time.

Never in your life you needed a father figure - but during those moments that you tried to actually reach for him, it was more for your mother than yourself. She needed him. She always loved him through and through even though it hurts but he was to dull too notice that.

He was with you - financially speaking. He will send cash deposits to your mother's bank account weekly for daily and hospital expenses. He continued to do so even now that you're in college, though you insisted he no longer needed to...

During the times when your mother's sick was when you decided to become a nurse. You wanted to take care of her, and you thought having the same career path as your mother will be the best. You studied hard, enough for you to be a consistent honor student. She was your source of inspiration and each passing days that her body becomes weaker and weaker, the more you're motivated to reach your goal.

Sadly, your mother died after three years of fighting Leukemia. She died during your second year in High School. Your father, like the usual asshole he is, refused to attend the funeral.

Your heart sank deep, not knowing what to do next. Oh, you're one step next to a legal orphan.

Eventually, you started skipping school, resulting to drastic changes on your grades. You'll always question yourself what's the point. It's not like you have any reason to do it anyway.

At one point, you thought everything - your mother, your father, your situation, restrained you. They snatched your life away. Why can't you have a normal life like any girl your age? The gods must be crazy.

It was a memorable childhood, in a way, though you never wished to go back.

You tried to end your life once, twice, thrice? You lost count already but for some reason, you ended up alive - always. Always.