Protection

Chapter 10

I know that you don't automatically fall in love; I just don't know how to describe how I feel at the moment. Since my parents turned out fine—although I don't know if I would consider their relationship to be healthy because they only talk about politics to each other—I figure I will ask how they got together. They have more experience than me in relationships, after all. Plus, they must have had some sort of connection at first, so it shouldn't hurt to ask what that was like to determine if what I feel for Four is real or not.

Clearing my throat after the momentary pause, I continue, "How did you and Dad get together?"

Mom throws her head back with a laugh. "Oh, Beatrice..." It annoys me a little because it seems like she is laughing at me, not taking me seriously. After calming down, she sighs dreamily as she recalls her past. "Well, we met in college through mutual friends. We automatically clicked and decided spend time with each other—"

"Yeah, but like, what was it like falling in love?"

She stops at my interruption, looking at me incredulously. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

Quickly, I shut the idea down, even though it is true that I have a boy in mind. "Oh, it's for a friend. Guy trouble."

"Ah." She doesn't seem to believe me, but she doesn't push it. Instead, she gets hyper at the memories of her own teenage romance. "Well...falling in love doesn't happen all of the sudden. It starts out as an infatuation, or even just a simple appreciation for a person. You feel like it is slow approaching, and you might think you are waiting for a long time for something to happen. Then, something triggers your emotions or maybe nothing really at all, and you realize, 'Oh. I'm in love.' At least, that's how it happened for me. Your father and I..."

But I am no longer listening. I am preoccupied with the idea of actually getting far enough to knowing Four so well that I could decide how deeply I felt.

And it sounds rude, but I didn't talk to my mom about this subject to know about her history with Dad. If anything, I don't want to hear about it; it would only make me sad.

My parents have lost the spark that they used to have. It is like an ember that has died out over time, day by day as their love slipped away. And I feel bad, I really do. I wish they would not have gotten involved in politics this consumingly because maybe they would still be infatuated with each other if they chose a different path.

I don't want a relationship like theirs. I don't want my future with whatever man I end up loving to be like living with a coworker. I want the passion that they don't have, and I want to drag it out until the end of time.

And for some reason, I feel like Four will be that person for me.

We have spent almost every minute of every day together for two months. He has become the person I rely on, who I trust with my life, and not just because my parents are paying him to be that way. He offers me security and kindness without me having to drag it out of him. He is always there for me, and I never had to ask him to be.

And best of all, he likes me, judging by that kiss on my forehead.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, interrupting my mom who was still rambling about the old days. It must be her and Dad's guests.

"I'm going back to bed," I say, hopping down from my chair. Mostly I am just excusing myself because I don't want to have to be confronted by a bunch of people I have been introduced to before, whose names and faces I don't remember. Also, it couldn't hurt to get an extra hour or two of rest after the eventful night. "Thanks for talking to me."