Dear Diary,

The Shut In and Shut Down (Part 3)

First off I wanna say thank you to everyone who has been reading this, I pretty much have 300 views and I am so happy. Anyways enough about that, back to Autumn.

Ok sorry that I didn't say what happened after I got back to the house. I kinda fell asleep once I got to the part where Laugh and Love went home. So they got home safe, Jailyn took a pain pill for her headache and today Grey is going to tell me whether it's true that he likes me or not.

Basically what happened was a stayed at the pond for another hour or so and then mom told me to come home. I had a really bad feeling so I just slowly walked down the road to my house. It didn't take long for me to see the red and blue flashing lights and the cops.

I walked down the road, down my driveway, and came to my house. I was in a dreamy haze.....I didn't quite comprehend that this was really happening. My dad was being arrested and taken away because I caught him smoking illegal marijuana.

The cops tried to talk to me but it was all a blur, I was tired and with all the lights flashing I was in a daze. When my dad was beating on the glass in the back of the cop car I finally realized the reality of the situation.

I was actually losing my father, ya, he was a jackass but I still loved him. At that moment I just burst into tears and ran to the car to see my dad. I wanted to hug him and tell him goodbye and that I was sorry for freaking out and sorry for being such a horrible daughter. The cops tried to stop me but my mom told them to leave it be.

"Awe, baby it's ok.......it's my fault.....I should have just got help for my anger instead of resorting to drugs to keep me calm."

"How come you decided all of a sudden to straighten up and try to get better?"

"When I was yelling I didn't realize that I was hurting you that bad but then I was drunk when I began hitting your mother I felt so bad that I just drank more and it was a cycle. When I hit you I felt so bad that I knew I needed help and instead of actually getting help I just went to drugs."

".....ok but how come on Friday's you would go to the bar and then bring a slut home and fuck her while mom was at work?"

"Oh, honey........the reason I drank all the time was to dull the pain of what I did before and all the stress that went on. When I was drunk I was easily seduced and it just happened..........I'm sorry for putting you both through all that."

It was then that I realized that mom was standing at the car door. I never knew she could be so strong. All this time I thought she was broken and beaten but she is strong.......stronger than me.

"Alright, guys it's time to say goodbye. He is going to be in prison for a while but you can visit if you want and he will have calls."

We all hugged and it was amazing......I felt the love of my father again and it was great. I also felt my mother's strength and it was great too. I felt loved and that nothing could ever tear us apart but I was wrong.

We were finally together for a few moments but then the cop said they had to go and ripped up the reunion. Right as I was pulled away from dad he whispered something in my ear.

"Don't ever give up ok. I am going to be gone for a while but I will be back and I will be better. We will finally be a family again and then we can live happily ever after........together. So keep holding on......it's worth it to just keep going and see where God takes you. I love you, baby, see you when I can."

I pulled away and just looked at him.......he was my father again.....the one I loved and I had always wanted back.......and he was back........but now I was going to lose him for a while but it was different than when I lost him before.

I began to cry and repeat the words my father said to me in my head. It was then that I realized that he said one thing and I cried even harder but it was happy tears.

"It's worth it to keep going and see where God takes you."

I thought he no longer believed in God but he did...........I was so happy for him and yet so sad because I wouldn't get to see him for a while.