Dear Diary,

The Norm...........Except One Thing

Soooo nothing much to report............it was a normal day. There was the usual bullying, abuse, and stress. Also the thoughts, tears, anxiety, and threats, so ya today was the norm.........except one thing.

I was on the bus in the back like I always am and then my phone vibrated

New Message from........

Who the hell would be texting me right now.

Hey I know I can't talk to you at school so I just wanted to say "hey", see ya at school~Grey

Oh............

Hey Grey, I didn't expect you to text me......well see ya~Autumn

So ya that had happened and then at school when no one was paying attention he would wave, salute, or smile at me. I still don't know why but whenever he does anything like that my heart seems to drop into my stomach.

I can't like him.......can I? No, my life is way too fucked up for him to have to deal with it too. But he does understand what I am going through.............No I couldn't do that to him, he has had enough happen to him, he doesn't need to worry about my life too.

It is best to just remain friends and leave it at that. All we are, are friends and that is all we will ever be.............no matter what we would always just be friends, after all, who would ever like me, even if they truly did know me.

Grey may know me a little and understand what I am going through but he doesn't truly know me and if he did, he definitely wouldn't like me. I know that I have to stop crushing but he is so perfect.

From his dark brown hair to his brown eyes, to his dark hoodies, ripped jeans, and beat-up sneakers. From his headphones blaring music to his perfect voice when he sings and isn't paying attention. He is just all around perfect and I think I am falling...........no........yes.......... AAAAGGGGGHHHHH IDFK ANYMORE!!!!!

So ya, I am crushing but I know it could never happen, I am still bullied every day, my dad still abuses me every night, and I am slowly dying on the inside. I could never make him have to deal with all of that. Well, I have to finish my homework, thx diary for being there, love ya.