She Is My Sanity (Futanari) •

Empty

I reached my dorm and opened the key with the key and went in. I stood by the door and after five minutes of hearing nothing I knew Grace wasn't home. I walked to the bathroom as while taking off my shirt. Once I got to the bathroom, I undressed till I am in my boxers and sports bra and got a rag, wetting it with warm water and bringing it to my face. Cleaning off all the blood and once I was done, I just stared at the mirror..at the cold green eyes looking right back at me.

Then those haunting thoughts came barging in. What would Janey think if she saw you like this? She'll probably be afraid of you.

"Stop"

She wouldn't recognize the woman that supposedly loves her. She probably wouldn't look at you the same way again.

"Stop!"

I shouted and then it was just like a light switch, those haunting words disappeared and I stared at a girl with fiery green eyes now and a scrunched up face as she just ate a whole lemon.

"Oh Jesus Christ Blair" a voice sounding very familiar to Grace. I wanted to laugh at her accent but not a mockery laugh. No, I've been here 3 months and fell in love with the accents. But I couldn't seem to do that either and she softly turned me around and looked at me, I could see the emotions representing angry, pity and sorrow.

Grace Levington is my roommate and the first I have made here. Don't really know why she wants to be friends with me because normally I would respond with a nod or a shake of the head and one word answers. I couldn't even get mad at the pity and sorrow I saw in her eyes.

"Come on wanker, I've set up some movies to watch" she said and walked out knowing I would follow her silently. When I first met her, I actually let out a laugh when she called me that. It just sounds so vulgar and then she asked if it was alright for her to say that and I shrugged.

"It's a free world, say what you feel like saying" I told her in a emotionless voice and she didn't even comment on my tone so I knew then that Grace would be a good friend to have around. So I walked out and put on a shirt and some sweatpants and sat beside her on the couch and watched the movie rolling but knew I really wasn't there watching it.

Jane's P.O.V

In these 3 months, I couldn't sleep in my bed. I could not. Even thinking of sleeping in that bed will bring continuous of rocking sobs through me and it hurt, it smelt like her. Even though it was my bed, it smelt like her. It hurt so much. So I decided to sleep on the couch but that still didn't stop the tears from falling. After I watched her go through the customs area, I walked right out that airport with Chloe driving me home.

I couldn't see the plane fly away. No that would make me sob out loud and I didn't want to seem like someone died. Although it felt like I lost Blair. I know my Blair and I knew she's not the same Blair right now. The gentle, loving, considerate Blair.

I don't know what she's doing right now but I know she has changed. It scares me because when she comes back I don't know what I would see but I knew I would love her even more.

I pretended I was fine during the day and at work, not fully fully fin though but enough so Aunt Claire, Chloe, my co workers and my boss wouldn't worry too much.

However they didn't know that whenever no one was home, I buried my nose in Blair's t-shirts and cried and my boss and coworkers didn't know that whenever it was my lunch break, I would lock myself in the mall public toilets and made sure no one was inside and silently let the tears fall.