Grab My Hand, Trust Me

You'd hate me

I woke up desperately needing to use the restroom. I uncovered myself, and hopped to the bathroom, my leg bothering me much more than yesterday.

I turned on the flashlight and went to the restroom, flushing the toilet. Ace figured out a way to set up the plumbing system so that when we poured water into the toilet bowl and flushed, it would make its way out of the house and into the little creek we had in our backyard. That way it washed away with the storms. I went back to the mirror, grabbing the washcloth and the large bucket of water.

I cleaned my face hair and body with some soap and water while standing in the bathtub, avoiding the wrapping on my ankle and relishing in the feeling of cleanliness. I pulled my damp curly hair back into a loose bun and climbed out, being careful of my foot.

I put on some black sweatpants that I'm pretty sure I stole from Ace, and a bra and gray tank top.

I remember that my dad broke his leg once and had crutches, so I looked in his closet in hopes of finding it. I hate going into his closet as I haven't thrown out his clothes. Or moms. I know that Ace is going to need clothes soon, and that Olive can take Ace's old ones when he starts to grow. And that I'll take moms and give Brooke mine when the same starts to happen. Being materialistic is the only way to make it these days.

I finally found his crutches, and I grabbed one to help me through the day. I know it was early, so I crept my way down the hall and to the stairs, immediately more intimidated by it than yesterday because of the pain.

Eventually I started making my way down and I finally was able to creep my way to the kitchen, staying quiet for Mave. I looked in the cupboards that we filled yesterday to find the assorted fruits, knowing Olive would be so happy to eat that for breakfast. My stomach rumbled but I ignored it. I also grabbed the baby food, but I didn't open anything yet as I didn't know when they would wake up, and wanted everything to taste as fresh as processed food could. I got out two glass bowls, one for Mave and one for Ace. Then I grabbed two small plastic bowls for Oliver and Brooke and took them to the table.

I grabbed the bottle of water that Ace assorted yesterday while I was gone. He takes the rain water collected outside and puts them in a pot. He takes an old tee shirt, wraps it around the pot and filters it out into another one. Once that's done, we take a lighter and start a fire in the fire place. It's dangerous but we don't open the chimney because we don't want people to see the smoke, plus he always monitors it. So he boils the water and fills the bottles. It works well and I'm lucky that he always offers to do it, because I'm pretty sure I would spill.

I only grab three, as Ace and I share, and Olive and Brooke share. The third water is for Mave. Eventually, I finish setting the table and sit down on the love seat across from the couch Mave is sitting off. I drift off into a nap once again, my body deprived of energy.

I wake up to someone lightly shaking me. Mave is in front of me with a bowl in his hands, a bowl with fruit.

"Goodmorning." he says with a lazy smile.

"Thanks but I'm not hungry." I reply without even thinking about anything else. He looks at me pointedly and rolls his eyes.

"Everyone else ate. This is extra." He said trying to push the bowl on my lap. I shake my head.

"Maverick, stop. Olive can have some later if we just put some wrap on it.

"Sage, Ace told me he was worried. He said he hasn't seen you eat in a while, that you are losing weight and fast. I'm not arguing with you, everyone had plenty, eat." I looked at him shocked that my brother would even say something like that to him.

"This is none of your business. I told you I am not hungry, now please go wrap that up if you're not going to do anything but bother me about it." I retorted, extremely angry that he would even try to bring this up.

"No. eat this right now before I call Ace and we shove this down your throat. I know you're trying to help, believe me I get it, but how are you supposed to take care of them when you're sleeping the day away because your body doesn't have the energy to stay awake?" My mouth drops that he would threaten me like that. I quickly close it so he doesn't see how annoyed I am. But I take the bowl  and spoon from his hands, having no other option.

He smiles and starts to walk back to the couch. But his smile quickly fades as a disturbed feature slowly takes over. He doesn't even realize it.

"What's wrong?" I ask, curious as to why he is so down all of a sudden.

"Nothing." He looks up and strains a smile, but I can tell it's strained.

"You forced me to eat, so talk." I said, upset that he was making me eat in uncomfortable silence.

"You'd hate me." He said a little quieter. At that I looked up, and stopped eating for a moment.

"Mave, this world is fucked up, and sometimes we have to do some fucked up things to survive. I won't hate you." I said in hopes of understanding his situation.

He looks at me, and looks back down at his shoes, torn on whether or not to speak. I was surprised to hear him open his mouth and talk.

"Your brother was talking to me about some things he has seen. Some things you've seen. You call them the night roamers." He looks up at me, making eye contact. I nod my head, encouraging him to continue.

"That man that was, well was about to rape you, he found me a couple of weeks ago. I was with my sister, she's around Olive's age. She was so sick, and I didn't know what to do. He told me that if I joined him, he'd help her. He gave her to one of the girls in the group to have her fixed up. In the mean time, I was forced to do his dirty deeds. When he found you, we were just on a supply run. But, Sage I have done some things, I have been forced to do things for her. Things that you would hate me for. And I don't want to go back, but they still have Pandora. They still have my sister."

I looked at him, concerned for what he was about to say next. I could tell he wasn't finished but he was having a hard time getting his next few words out. I hobbled my way over to the couch he was on and sat down, taking his large hand in mine. I looked him in the eyes and saw he was in pain, a deep emotional pain.

"Sage, I'm a night roamer."