December 15th, 2017
I had the intention of not going at first. It's not that it was too expensive to go, or that I didn't have a nice suit to wear, or even that I didn't have any friends or a date to take. I just wasn't in the swing of things in the moment. I'd rather take a walk around the neighborhood and call it a night. You know how I feel, right?
That didn't last long because right when my three friends heard me say that I was not going to go to this year's Winter Formal, they began to freak out and made a huge fuss about how we would all have so much fun if we all went together. I started to protest, but it was clear who was going to win this argument. They even bought me a ticket a week ago. They had this all planned out. Everything.
I began looking at the pros and cons of going and decided to put those in the back of my mind because there was one pro that outweighed everything else: I just wanted to have a good time. When was the last time I felt the beat pumping itself through my body? Ha, well you see, there was this one time... no. It never happened.
My three friends are wonderful, they really are. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for my girls. But there was this one friend in particular who I spend most of my time with. A guy I met after what I call, "The Freshman Incident." His name was Luo. He was not going to the formal.
Believe me, after I was convinced on going, I went straight to his place to tell him that I changed my mind. He originally said it was fine for him not to go because I wasn't going. So I thought he might want to go now that I changed decisions. He told me to have fun and enjoy the night. Just that. He told me just that. He made it very clear that he would not be going.
That's okay. I still have three girls that'll save me when we're there. Formal was on December 15th, tomorrow. So when the day came, I got everything ready for myself, made sure I looked nice and tried my very best not look like trash. I even put on a nice little golden bracelet to go with the suit. I was being picked up in like a black car, but it's shiny, but it's not a limo, more like a van, but looks wealthy and all that. I'm not good with cars.
And I thought I was gonna spend the entire night with my friends, but they forgot about me. I kid you not. I went to go get a drink and then the next thing I knew, they vanished. Magic trick. Poof. I knew I wasn't going to be standing around and allow myself to be pushed by sweaty, well-dressed bodies all dancing around like hooligans. The bench was where it's at.
I don't know what came over me, but I was furious. I couldn't have fun by myself. I was thinking of every possible way to get back at them because I was a sure that they were not coming back, or at least bother to look for me. They probably didn't even notice I was gone. Where's Sol?, they'd ask. Oh, right behind us.
I just looked at everyone dancing at the 10 o'clock bell. Eyes open, mouths agape, hands in the air. And then there were closed eyes, mouths touching, and hands near the two hills on one's back. Now here's the thing. If I were to have seen someone by themselves, especially if it was a particularly handsome lad who looked like he needed a waist to hold onto, I would have introduced myself. Everyone else, I would still introduce myself so we could become friends. That's the type of person I am. But everyone was taken.
And then there was you.
I saw you from several meters away. You were dressed in an all-black suit. Everything from the tie to the shoes. And what got me scared for a second was that you also had your face covered with a black mask. The top of your head was also covered so i couldn't see your hair. So when I saw a masked figure walking towards me, I was obviously startled.
But then I wondered more about if you were actually walking to me. Wondered about it more than why you were covering your face. Did this guy notice me? What's happening? Am I supposed to walk up to him too? What do I do? Or were you just heading my way and were planning to walk past me to get a drink?
You came closer. And closer. And closer. Closer until you were right in front of me and put out your hand. I looked up at you and you had your head looking down at me. You were gesturing me to take your hand. I'll be honest... I was very hesitant. In fact, I was about to decline by pushing you away. But then I thought, "What have I got to lose?" and so I gave you my hand.
I couldn't see your mouth, so I couldn't tell if you were smiling. But I kept looking at those vibrant blue eyes of yours. You led me to the middle of the dancefloor and I was a little embarrassed because I didn't know what to do. It was an upbeat song and you started dancing however you wanted. So was everybody else. So I guess I did the same.
I had the rhythm running through my veins. I could dance all night like I'm a soul boy, so I was glad you dragged me across the dancefloor. But believe me, I don't know how to dance. But neither did you. But I still loved the way you jumped around and made a fool of yourself. It felt like I've known you for years because even though I didn't, you were the same as me. You behaved abnormally.
It hadn't occurred to me to say anything until this moment. So I spoke up and began telling you that I was curious to why you were so hidden and asked for your name as well. But halfway through you just shook your head and softly held a finger to my lips. I just went along with it.
It wasn't this song that was the best. It was the next one. It wasn't a fast one, and it wasn't a slow one either, but everyone who was in it to party left the dancefloor, and lovebirds entered. I thought this was it for you and me, but you grabbed my hand and pulled me close to you. You put your other hand on my waist. I did the obvious thing and put my hand on your shoulder.
If this night is not forever, at least we are together...
I know I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone.
Anywhere, whenever, apart but still together...
I know I'm not alone, I know I'm not alone...
I almost wanted to laugh, I really did. It was just so funny to think that I didn't even know who you were and here I was, grabbing on to you and dancing with you to a slow song. Why didn't I just take your mask off and find out for myself who the hell you were?
But within those minutes, I started to grow fond of you. You gave me a little spin which was the most ridiculous thing that ever made me laugh. When I came back around you were centimeters away from my face. Without taking your eyes off of me, you reached into your pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and showed it to me.
Close your eyes.
And right when I read that, I was about to run. Except, I didn't. It was scary to think what you could've done when my eyes were closed. But I did as the paper said, and within seconds I felt lips on mine and I slept so deeply into that kiss, and my eyes closed voluntarily.
This was my mistake. My biggest mistake: I didn't open my eyes. Looking back at this now, I hate myself for not opening them. If I did, everything after this wouldn't have happened. If I could have just opened them when you were kissing me, when your mask was off because that's the only way you were able to kiss me, I would have known who you were. And it would've been the end of this.
But I fell into your mesmerizing kiss, and by the time you were done and I actually did open my eyes, you had your mask back on. The song stopped, and your time was up. You held both my hands tenderly, and slowly let go of them and took steps back. You were leaving. But before you did, I took off the golden bracelet I was wearing and handed it to you. I just thought it'd be nice if you had something to remember me by because it was an unlikely chance I'd ever find out who you are, or that you'd show me you were the boy that danced and kissed another boy.
You ran out the door and into the night. I was left standing alone in the middle of the dancefloor. After that, I started thinking that I should be committed to finding you. And that's exactly what I did. This was not the last time I saw you. You and I both know that. However...
I didn't know I was being watched.
