It was a strange time for him. Exams had just finished, his schoolmates were out and about; it was the first time, in his high school life, that he felt lost. After years of pseudo-conforming to the crowd he called his friends, the lack of guidance left him, simply, lost.
As he recalls, two days had passed since his final exam took place. He could finally relax and appreciate those around him as he was now free with copious amounts of time. He recalls:
"I remember it was Sunday or Monday morning when it really began to hit me. I wasn't lost, but I was unguided. No friends to see, because they went on holiday trips, I sat at home, electronically communicating with the person I called my best friend*."
*Note: This person which he calls his best friend shall be known under the pseudonym "Sarah".
According to the patient, he and Sarah were fairly close. Especially in the days, leading to the final exams of compulsory school. He continued:
"WE were fine as friends, as friends generally are. We fought, sometimes argued - but we also made up and resolved our fighting. What we fought over, however, wasn't very typical. I liked her... a lot, but she didn't like me back."
This is one of 18902's first cases where he'd expressed emotional attachment that could be interpreted externally. His eyes slumped and his voice nearly silenced, as if he did not want to say anymore. His tone shifted completely from plain and conversational to regretful and anxious. In 18902's mind, they had a near unbreakable bond, it was also clear that, to Sarah, 18902 was a friend - and he always will be.
I queried:
"What do you believe your connection with Sarah was? How would you rate that connection's strength? According to you, what did Sarah think of you?"
He simply responded:
"To Sarah, I was probably one of those friends that stood by her for a bit. She wasn't stubborn but she had moments where she refused to let anyone in. She even thanked me herself, on the last day of school, saying that my support meant a lot to her. In my mind, I never considered that my support was enough. She still had those moments even after I supported her, so I began to think I was the problem..."
18902 stood up, and simply said, "I'm sorry, Doc. I can't do anymore today."
[END OF ENTRY 1]
YOU ARE READING
Into My Mind
Teen FictionAn external recollection - after graduating from high school, anxiety kicks in. These are the recollections of a maturing man, who realized independence, confidence and wisdom were all you needed to thrive in this world.
